The Roselawn Years, 1970-83
After I graduated from seminary in
1970, I was invited to visit Roselawn Mennonite Church in Elkhart and
to preach as a way of the members learning to know me in
consideration as pastor. Their previous pastor had been there for
many years and it was considered they should have a new pastor and so
they looked to the seminary for possibilities. They decided they want
us to come and so after about a month, they asked me to start
pastoring.
We were still living in Goshen and so we commuted until we moved
to Elkhart on Modrell Avenue.. We had looked around for proper housing and
then found this place less than a mile from the church building. A
old lady, Mrs. Fredrickson, wanted to sell the place after her
husband had died. As we considered that the price of $14,000 was
reasonable, we bought it at her price. She wanted to stay living in a
little house on the lot and renting it from us. She gave us $50.00
per month and we made payments of $110.00 so we had to fork out only
a net of $60 per month which was good for us. It was on a lot of over
an acre so it was very nice for us for gardening, trees, and lawn. We
moved around Thanksgiving Day and the children had to change schools
in the middle of the semester. The house was a bit small for us and
the boys had to sleep downstairs where the ceiling was low- at least
for me, but then still ok for them. The girls had a room off the
living room, kind of a sun room with a good closet.
I suppose the ministry went all right
for me for a while, but within a year or two, it was somewhat
obvious that some of the members expectations were a bit different
from my own. The pastor was supposed to be the Spiritual leader and
the congregation was organized to do the business of the church. The
pastor was to be something of an invisible inspiration for the
church as far as the mission of the church was concerned, but not as
an administrator. I grew up where the leaders made most decisions for
the church and then at Walnut hill, it was very democratic, at least
based on member consensus and making decisions. But Roselawn had a
church council that made most decisions and the pastor was on about
every committee but without an administrative role. This may be
confusing to the reader, but it also was for me and I probably did
not understand all this for many years, possibly until I moved on
from that church. Also the original members who had started the
church were still there and were 10-20 years my senior. They knew
how things should go and probably never thought any other way
existed. Or was proper. Anyway, I preached and did what I thought was
proper.
After I was there about a year, we
became aware of a movement of the Spirit, commonly known as the
Charismatic Movement. Some of the members went to Notre Dame and
attended classes of “Life in the Spirit” in that Catholic
setting. A few times we also attended their prayer and praise
meetings. At the same time we also visited the Zion Chapel fellowship
between Goshen and Elkhart for their Charismatic worship services
which included a lot of singing, testimonies, and sometimes
prophesying in tongues or English. One couple from Roselawn, the
Chupps were very much into this and the wife had received a
tremendous healing from depression that had been a real trial in
their marriage. After she gave her testimony in a Roselawn meeting,
we asked her husband what he thought about her testimony. He simply
said, “I have a new wife.” One time we were at a meeting at the
Chupps with Vic Hildebrand who was leader of Zion Chapel. He
explained a lot about the Spirit and prayed for all who wanted it. He
also asked if I wanted him to pray for the Baptism of the Spirit. I
had been asking him questions all evening, and here it was after
midnight. I said I wanted what ever God wanted to give me, so he
prayed for me to receive the Baptism. It was about 2:30 until we got
to bed that night. No, I did not speak in tongues as they likely
hoped I would. But early the next morning, possibly before 6:00, I
was wide awake and over in my study looking over many Scriptures
about the Holy Spirit. Now it seemed to me that it all made sense
the way it had been explained the night before. I had studied all my
life and in seminary, but considered the miracles of the Spirit were
for “those days”, rather than today. Now I saw the possibilities
that there was a new thing that was real for our day. The next days and weeks I was reading a lot about the
Spirit. I was also working for Ralph Miler on a house up close to Tri
Lakes Church by the lake. It was a time of such closeness with God,
not of my compulsion, but by God's initiative that then in those days
I first spoke in tongues, probably in the evening at home in a quiet
way alone. I did not tell Loretta for a few days and then when I did,
she had no problems with it. I was careful not to speak in tongues as
a thing of myself but only when I felt God was leading me lest it be
a thing of my concoction rather than that of the Spirit.
I suppose my ministry was affected
although I was cautious about talking about it a lot. I did preach 4
sermons in a row on the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives but
never recommended that everyone seek the Baptism of the Spirit. There
were only a few who were really talking about it, for example both
Chupp families- Earnest and Elmer's. Eventually Elmer's left the
church as we were not moving forward as they thought we should. They
felt we should strongly preach and advocate the Charismatic teaching
and experience. There was new life in our fellowship. We prayed for
the son of one couple, who was into drugs and within a week he perked
up Spiritually and became a Christian. Soon he was helping to lead
the worship with guitar and praise songs for part of the worship time
as we also continued singing the regular hymns.
It seems this spiritual movement was
one matter that divided the church in my ministry. Some members
wanted me to move faster Charismatically and others felt the church
was going backward under my ministry. When my first term of 3 years
was up, I told the leaders that I do not want to continue in
ministry. Oddly, I cannot remember what we did in the months
following, but we must have attended other churches regularly with
our family. I was depressed, feeling that God had lead me into this
ministry and now I was unable to fulfill it. I certainly felt in a
maze of personal direction.
About this time I was once visiting at
some neighbors a block south of our house. Here was a woman who was
drinking and had been thrown out of the house she had been renting.
Not knowing better, I brought her home and she stayed with us for the
night. The next morning I showed her about becoming a Christian and
she was ready. After I prayed for her and she also prayed, she just
sat there and shook all over with laughter of relief from her
problems. But her problems were not all over. Several times when she
got her welfare check she marched out the door and spent several days
and her money drinking. When she would come back she would feel that
she had lost everything when she drank, but I told her to get up and
walk again. Once Loretta pursued her on the bicycle and tried to stop
her when she was rushing to drink after she had her check but to no
avail. Eventually she was in a nursing home and stayed sober while
she was there.
Other things were also happening at the
same time we were away from Roselawn. Probably related to my work in
a factory I had pinched nerves or carpel tunnel syndrome in both
wrists. My wrists hurt excruciatingly and I could not sleep for
several nights. I would pace the floor for about ten minutes and then
lay down for 5 minutes, all night long. At one time my fingers hurt
so much I asked Loretta to spread my bread. I remember once running
out into the back yard in agony crying out to God, feeling an
identity with all the suffering people of the world. When we took
Marge, the lady with the drinking problem, to an apartment looking
for a place to live, I could not sit in the car waiting for Loretta
to check things out with her, but had to get out and paced the
sidewalks in pain. After some days either I was tired enough to
sleep, or the pain subsided a bit; I was able to sleep again some
although I recall earlier, first sitting up in bed and throwing
myself back in agony. I was learning some lessons in suffering
although what was I supposed to learn?
During this time, there was also extra
stress on Paul. He had started school at Bethany and they called us
telling us to come to the school for him as he could not quite
function in studying. I don't believe he was making a disturbance but
he was restless and couldn't concentrate on his studying, He was
talking a lot when we brought him home and while most made sense, his
mind was going faster than he could link things together. We took him
to Oaklawn Center for evaluation and they recommended he be
hospitalize for treatment.
About that time I began working at
Elkhart General Hospital as an orderly. My hands were some better but
I felt I could not go back to factory work even though I could hardly
afford working at the hospital for lower wages. Paul was at the
hospital about four weeks when I started working there and was
released, only to be admitted again for another 4 weeks. After he was
released he got along ok at home on medication and went back to
school, although at Elkhart Central High at first.
I felt comfortable with my work at the
hospital which included a variety of activities and allowed me to
interact with patients who were sick. Sometimes I told them that I
knew what suffering was as I had such terrible pain in my hands. I
transported patients to x-ray or surgery, and other places. Sometimes
I was on patient care as a nurse aid, making beds, bathing patients,
feeding those unable to feed themselves and helping them walk or
exercise after surgery or in recovery. I worked there about 6 years
before my course changed.
After away from Roselawn Church for
several months I had a sense that I might be going back to Roselawn.
I was not surprised when John Steiner, a well-known minister, came to
our house and invited me to come back to Roselawn on a team with
Wendell Yoder and him. I consented and was then on a team for 6
years, although Steiner soon faded away from our team. Wendell and I
were very different from each other. I was a trained teacher with a
listening ear. He was a persuader in preaching and I let him lead in
most of the administrative leadership which was not my strong gift.
We met weekly over breakfast and discussed our work and how we would
divide our work, for example who we would be visiting.
Perhaps about a year after I began
working at the hospital, about in 1975, we felt our house was small
for our growing up family. We all agreed that Loretta could work and
I could add to our house. She was able to get a good job at the
hospital in the nursery which suited her fine, having had 5 babies
herself. Daughter Grace was then 13 and with her we learned to cook,
especially supper as Loretta worked the evening shift. I continued
working at the hospital, sometimes part time, as I built the
split-level three bedrooms at the end of our house.. Sometimes she
and I were on the same hospital shift and sometimes I only saw her
for the half hour our shifts over lapped. At first I didn't mind
being separated from her but eventually I got really tired of being
alone from her 5 evenings a week.
One thing we did over the years was
attending the big church wide meetings with our family. Once we went
to Ontario for a meeting and also to Niagara Falls. On the way we saw
a dog crossing the highway and then looking back, saw a car flipping
over with the people flying out, one person dying there. Apparently
they tried to miss the dog that had also crossed the road in front of
us. We also went to a conference on the Holy Spirit in Virginia about
1971, and to Estes Park in Colorado about 1978. As we hardly expected
our children would always be with us, we bought a big station wagon
and build a box on top of it and made a real trip out of it. We were
in Manitou Springs, CO for about a week and went to Pike's Peak, the
Royal Gorge, and other places before camping at Estes Park for the
national assembly of the church. Our children who were becoming teens
enjoyed these travelings and would meet youth from other states
sometimes repeatedly. It was also a test of whether we could all get
along together in close living out of the car for a time.
Once we went to Chicago for a one day
outing and on returning we drove though heavy rain and hydro-planed
at turnpike speed. When I told the family that I could not control
the car, they were all praying, “God help us.” He did and we
stopped safely, sliding sideways and one tire going flat in the skid
on the rough berm. It was testimony time that next Sunday in church
that God saved our family. The car that had flipped not long before
was in the back of our minds- where one person had died.
One theme that has persisted throughout
our life has been that of the need to use our money carefully. This
was true whether we had more or less income. Probably the Roselawn
years were the times of most continuous need to spend carefully. One
reason was the income from pastoring half time coupled with what I
could make with the other part-time job was less than I could have
earned in a full time job or profession. Even with both of us working
at the Hospital, the combined income was not exactly comfortable. Yet
we never missed a due bill because of lack of finances that I can
recall. Part of this was that in most limited circumstances, I would
write down all our upcoming expenses and date them as to when they
needed to be paid. Sometimes I had a list, who knows now, of ten to
fifteen items from house payments to utilities, to credit cards (yes)
and other miscellaneous expenses. Then I would pay them in the order
they had to be paid to avoid late fees.
It is also likely that in the
years of our teens and related private high school expenses we likely
had more expenses in the 70”s than any other time in our life.
Fortunately, our children all helped with their own jobs and helped
in buying their own clothes as well as what they wanted. They all had
paper routes at some time and also all worked at fast food places or
restaurants at some time. This helped us as well as gave them some
experience in frugal and wise spending of limited resources, or
whatever. There was a time when I would borrow from my children and
then pay back when I received my pay check. At one time we even
borrowed and just kept track of what I borrowed. Yet I doubt that
they ever suffered nutritionally or medically or of any other
necessity. God was always good even though it was inconvenient many
times.
I suppose our parent/teen relations
were quite normal or average, what ever should be considered as such.
I clearly remember that I used to think that each or most of the
children had a time of withdrawal from us in which they wanted to be
more independent from us. It seemed to me that I was more tolerant
than Loretta in expecting them to want to make their own decisions.
We trusted them a lot. Probably I never accused any of our children
of lying as I did not want them to think that I would even faintly
expect that of them. No doubt they never told us every thing they did
when they were away from home or in high school years. When it was
difficult for them to appreciate church services, we insisted that
they attended at least one Sunday service. If they had to work at a
food place on Sunday, we tolerated that although it was not often and
certainly not as we were raised. I feel we were fairly lenient and
liberal with our children compared to how many parents today feel
they need to guide their children. We probably grew up in a more
simple and rural environment where parents could more easily grant
freedoms to their children. It seemed when each of our children had
gone through enough independence, they would come back and relate to
us again more closely. I could think of many examples of the above
items for our children, but I do not wish to name anyone. Any
grandchildren can ask their parents how they got along with their
parents, of where the trouble spots were.
In January 1978, we had our house fire.
A traumatic, new, and life changing event. I was working at the
hospital when I got the news and a secretary took me home- driving so
slowly like she was in a funeral procession! Well. Cars were lined up
as we came near our house. Smoke was coming from the house when I
first saw it. Firemen did not know how to get at the base of the fire
as it was all smoke filled, but it seemed to be mostly at the kitchen
end of the house. I kicked in the basement door so they could work at
it from there. They finally had it under control and then out. My
study floor had burned out and the dining room floor sagged. The
refrigerator had fallen down. The inside was one mass of smoke
covered. Herbie the dog tried to survive in a closet and succumbed.
Hardly any furniture was salvageable except the dining room table.
All my college texts were badly smoked or charred as well as most my educational notes. A solid
shelf of many translations of the Bible were gone as well as many
slides and cassettes. Loretta and I sifted through the debris of my
study in the basement for days to find slides, coins or what ever. It
was a very dirty and smelly/smokey situation. It seemed that my study
was the place of most damage which suggested it may had started from
an electrical box which was downstairs below that room. The next day
our church had already collected $1,000 to help us move along with
new emergency expenses.
It was winter when the house burned. We
lived over at brother Daniel's house and the blizzard of the decade
followed close. Nine kids in the house, cousins and siblings. We made
it somehow. Staying in Goshen, I had to drive Road 33 which was down
to one lane. I stayed at the hospital one night so I could be there
the next day as many had trouble getting to work. When we moved into
the Fremont house after a week or two, we had hardly over a pick up
truck load of stuff. . When we moved out a year later, we had much
more. I don't remember where we got our beds and stuff.
The insurance
appraisers had come in just a few days. They considered the house a total
loss except for that dining room table which was an antique that
could be refinished. So we collected the whole amount for which it
was insured, $17,000 minus that $100.00 table. Our first impulse was
to buy another house and fix this one up in time. But a Realtor said
there was no way to go looking for a house in that snowbound
situation, which is how we then rented a house on Fremont house. Instead, in
a few weeks we bought two 3-bedroom rentals on 728-732 West Garfield
for $3,000 down on land contract. As I remember. I went part time at
the hospital and spent as much time as I could repairing the house.
We put in a new kitchen, two bathrooms, and made a study where the
dining room had been, rearranging most of the old part. There was
much sheet rock to replace and everything had to be painted with
stain sealer to cover up the smoke scent. In just about a year we had
it finished enough to move back in.
At the Fremont house, Conrad asked if a
long-time friend, John Metzger, from Goshen could move in with us.
With the house crowded a bit, I said he could if he wants to share
the space. So he was with us and then moved over to our Modrell house
when we moved back. John was at Bethany High School with our
children. In his industrial arts class he built a big oak water bed
which they also moved into the downstairs boys' room. Later John got
a good job in furniture making and married a Christian girl, rising
well above the malfunction of his family.
By 1980 it was again time to
re-consider my role at Roselawn. I would have gladly quit and someone
else take my place. But the church had such trouble deciding what to
do that I finally offered to continue if they wanted me to. So they
approved that and I continued for three more years. Wendell had left
to work in another church so I was alone then as pastor. During that
time I took real estate courses and became a broker, at the worst
time as interest was very high and it was hard to sell houses. I also
did home health care, helping people who needed just a little help
like making meals, bathing and house sitting with them.
During those three years at Roselawn
there were more changes in our family life. Conrad and Janet were
married in 1980. Ron and Grace in 1982 and Bruce and Rachel in 1983.
Conrad learned to know Bruce and Janet from work at Ponderosa. At
some time, Bruce had moved in with us and thus became acquainted with
Rachel. But earlier, Rachel had been in Belize in a Goshen College
study/service trimester. In those three years when I was away from
the church community I would sometimes think of other places where I
could serve just as well. In about May, 1983, we had Harold and
Janice Gingrich at Roselawn for renewal meetings and also the church
had an evaluation of my ministry. All these together: Rachel in
Belize writing back interesting matters, the Gingrich presence, and
the ambiguous ministry evaluation, led me to think this would be a
good time to move on. So I terminated at that time at the end of the
term in late 1983. I envisioned I would most likely serve as pastor
in another church. Meanwhile I got a job in a trailer factory. ( And
bought the house at 1031 Middlebury Street on a tax sale for
$825.00.) But Belize stayed in my mind and when we went to Virginia
for the wedding of my niece Marilyn and Steve Schrock in May 1984 we
stopped at Eastern Mennonite Mission in Pennsylvania and expressed an
interest in Belize. Miriam Book who met us was so enthused about our
interest that it made quite an impression on us and we wondered if
God was calling us to Belize. Meanwhile, we had discovered Tri Lakes
Chapel and became members there and soon I was an elder there. It was
a most rewarding fellowship after we had visited other churches for
about 9 months, making a survey of practices of the churches to be
better aware of the styles and nature of other Mennonite churches.
Once we visited Tri Lakes, we knew that was our church for then and
stopped visiting other churches. But a new life lay before us that
would change our lives forever as well as that of many others:
Belize.
