Friday, March 15, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Why Write or Have a Blog?
For several decades I
have been writing letters and essays of
current matters, either of what is happening around me or what is ruminating in
my mind. Writing certainly is a way of
communicating matters of significance to a person. But more than that, it also
helps me to think more clearly and systematically on the subject matter.
Furthermore, it is a literary photograph to which one can return later and look
at it again to enjoy, or experience what was felt earlier. Writing gives me time to explore a subject
in more detail than casual thinking or conversation. But then why blog?
Obviously blogging is a method of communicating for the present audience, who
ever that may be. It is a display and
perpetual archive and reference point for later readers. It is of the
conviction that what I have experienced in life and thought may be of interest
and value to others. Writing also gives me a sense that my life will continue
after I am gone. I wish my ancestors had left a clearer footprint of where they
had trod physically, emotionally and intellectually. If any posterity or
otherwise wonders about me, they can return and trace my steps by my writings.
Hopefully they will gain another perspective for their lives. So in these
blogs, you will find items of events, feelings, inspiration, and even some
paradoxes of life in humor. So don't read everything, just what piques your
interest or catches you mental eye.
From a Family letter, March 2013
Certainly the latest from here is returning from a 5 week
visit to Belize about 5 days ago. I suppose the trip could be summed up as I
did to a friend several weeks ago, “Belize is very beautiful, but very
hard”. Weather, the tropical greenery,
and the tremendous welcome and greeting by so many people. Even in the last
week as I walked the sidewalks or bicycled in town, I was frequently called out
by name and often didn't even recognize the greeter when I looked around. On
the other hand we had cool breezes over our faces at night the first night and
the last week had temps of 90, which gave little motivation to do much. Most
difficult was the constant pleading for a few dollars by persons we knew well
and some we could not trust as having been sent by mothers. Compassion was not
hard, but discernment of real needs was beyond human discernment at times . We
didn't mind sharing but we hated deceptions which we caught a few times. But
then we did have real conversations with children, youth, and mothers on the
direction of their lives and found a lot of openness which we are asking God to
followup on. Some are interested in church attendance that were not before. The
church we always attended has only a few coming, but Hopkins church is thriving
and the pastor received us warmly, although we used to wonder if he really
likes a foreigner around. When I spoke there, I reminded them that there used
to be only one lone street along the beach village, but now I had to have a
guide to show us where or friends lived.
The house we lived in for about 20 years had stood empty for
perhaps a year and so was vandalized some and left half remodeled. We cleaned
it up inside and outside, and supervised replacing the septic top which was
badly broken and also one cement pillar that needed replacement. The front door
was taken away and we replaced that. The copper wiring was stripped out with
the fuse box and meter. That still needs to been redone. The last weeks we
prepared it for a young couple, Louwesa and Ryan to move in and we stayed a few
days longer to help them move and settle in. This couple and her brother and
partner were married in a double wedding just two years ago, shortly before we
moved back They are Christians, very close friends, happily married with
children, to us much like our own. (two in this marriage are siblings to the 4
we brought north and were adopted by our friends here.)
One of our biggest expenses in Belize was helping 5 families
with their school expenses. Many did not have all their books for which they
might be sent home until they have them. School fees and late fees for some.
And just a host of smaller expenses, as well as replacement shoes and backpaks-
almost an endless variety of necessities for schools. Schools seem to ignore
that many are poor and can't afford all the many books and even “donations”
that are required. Some students drop out because of expenses. It can easily
cost $6-800US per high school student per year, a fortune for unemployed
parents. [The wives of the two couples mentioned above are in night high school
classes and highly motivated- even with Louswesa with 4 children!]
Well, back to IN. I mused last night how much nicer we have
it here compared to the past 5 weeks in Belize. The bathroom is lighted, the
floors are not cement, we have a refrig here, the cupboards are full of food as
well as the refrig. We don't fear break-ins like we lost food 4-5 times in
Belize. Kids aren't begging even for cold oatmeal about everyday.* We don't
fear running out of money. We have TV, computer, much music, a cozy house
equipped for comfort, yes a vehicle, and neighbors who bring food rather than
request food and cash. But it can be lonely here, which we might wish for in
Belize.
Forgive me for writing so much about our experiences. We did
enjoy all your letters. We enjoy good health. We also had much dental work done
in Belize which was the timing of our going. We likely saved some thousands
with new dentures for me and several tooth caps and one pulling for Loretta.
We have known the dentist in Belize for years and he is very
careful and throughal, and a friend- actually he gave me a hug when we first
met.
We expect to go to NM for a wedding in June and are toying
about going east for the Hoch. Reunion in PA as well as traveling more in the
east. We suppose Zachary is getting married this year but we have not heard any
date yet. We expect our first great grandchild later this year- Josh and
Natalie. Rachel's Nate is in Malaysia presently to be with Alisha who is still
waiting for her visa or papers. He teaches some at Notre Dame, and taught for
another teacher who now will teach for him, giving each an extra week of spring
vacation. Seems we have seen very little of our children and grandchildren
since Christmas except some locals a little.
Joe, I don't think we could ever expect much spiritual
direction from gov't leaders who reflect the mood of the country to a large
extent, e.g. on gay marriage, militarism, etc. We are living in a culture where
self interest prevails. They even talk of cutting back on foreign aid rather
than stop the bloated military; They are still manufacturing nuclear weapons
while destroying them also. How absurd!
Noah with Loretta
*When we first came to Belize I bought a small box of
oatmeal. It was soon gone so I bought a big one. Later I bought two at a time.
It was a common evening or anytime dish to pour “oats” in a bowl, add powder
milk, and 3-4 teaspoons of sugar- if we didn't sugar it ourselves- and then
enjoy it. Once in the late evening, I ask two teen fellows if they think many
youth go to bed hungry sometimes. They nodded yes. Often one simple dish of
food was consumes with satisfaction. Of course if a loaf of bread was on the
table, that also would easily vanish! I understand there is considerable
under-nourishment in Belize, although little starvation as in Haiti and other
places. What do they do when we are not there?
Perhaps beg from extended families and friends who are less
willing to help than we were, or wait until morning or whenever food appears.
Friday, March 8, 2013
When You Really Love a Person
You care as much or more about the other person as you do about
yourself.
You are often looking for way to please the other person.
You can keep on loving even over time, trials, and distance.
You would rather see the other person happy than yourself happy.
You can share unpleasant tasks with the other person as well as fun activities.
You can listen carefully to the other person even when you disagree.
You will think what is good for the other person and not only what
pleases you.
You will often give in to the other person.
You will say it kindly when you disagree with the other person.
You can wait for many things, like lunch, going somewhere, or sex.
You can discuss reasons and issues, not only your own feelings.
There is time to plan your life with the other person.
You want to learn about this person as long as you live.
You want to be within communicating distance to this person as much as
possible.
You seek common agreement with each other; You try to agree, not
disagree.
You will want to do many things with this person in life.
You want the other person to become all he or she can be in life.
Your feelings for this person grow and you discover new reasons to
love.
You can see the other person's weaknesses and still love the person.
Even after an argument, you would still sacrifice your life for each
other.
Your love is a two way street; you both love each other.
LET GOD BE KING OF
KINGS
When
I constantly hear and read of certain conditions in the world, it
seems things are out of the control of any human beings. I think of
Syria where there has been war against the people by a government
that just won't let go; or of the thousands of displaced people in Haiti
that are dependent on food from the outside for survival years
after a hurricane, or the new threat of violence between North Korea and other countries. It seems there is just no human answer to these
problems. I feel God simply has to intervene and resolve matters and
bring sufficiency and peace among people. Neither God's people nor
human organizations are able to resolve these issues. Then there are
constantly hostilities in the Middle East that could break out into
war, or the new threat of North Korea to deploy nuclear weapons
against their adversaries. When Mary sang at the coming of the
Messiah she said, “He has brought down rulers from their thrones
and lifted up the humble; he has filled the hungry with good things.”
I am driven to plead for God to intervene in all this mess that is
beyond the control of humans, either governments or his people. I
believe Joseph Stalin, the murderer of 20,000,000 people, died
suddenly as by the hand of God, as I understand when people around
the world were praying for God to act. Abraham asked, “Shall not
the judge of all the earth do right? Is it too much to plead with God
to take action where only he can releave the misery of people? “Be
the Lord and King of King that you really are,” we plead. Certainly
we pray for God's people to wake up and act responsibly to alleviate
the hunger and desperate needs of multitudes. But what the church can
do seems inadequate. God must move by his mighty arm to bring justice
and relief to multitudes in dire need for security and the daily
needs for survival. What if God's people would join together and cry
out to God to act? While committing themselves to be faithful in the
smaller things they could do to minister with the good news of the
Gospel and the abundant life. Consider joining us in pleading for God
to act and bring down strongholds of oppressive governments and bind
hostilities that bind people into desperate situations, and to stir
his people to do what they can in his kingdom to let it come to all
mankind.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
What Am I Doing?
I don't know how many times I have been
asked that question since I am retired. I suppose I always pause when
I am asked. I would like to say, “What am I supposed to be doing?”
Or I would like to say, “Should I be doing something?” Instead I
try to say something that will satisfy the questioner, like, “We
are in a group that visits a trailer park which the church has been
relating to for years.” That is a pleaser to people even though we
hardly go there once per month. Or what really makes sense is if I
say we have a rental we are working on some. Now you are doing
something, seems to be the response. Are retired people supposed to
be doing something the younger generation values? We spend
considerable time “working” out back in the garden, the woods,
and lawn. That hardly qualifies to the younger as being work, only a
past time, or necessity for them, at least as far as the lawn is
concerned. I wonder what people expect us to be doing in my
mid-seventies. One friend about my age asked me what I was doing in
the church as if you would expect an ex-missionary to be doing
something holy. If I say we do regular intercessory prayer, one
might think I am pious, or at least marginally working, at the best.
Reminds me of years ago of a neighbor, when he heard I was feeding
some chickens along with my college work, he responded, “It gives
you something to do. Well,
most of the time I have plenty to do- listening to music, reading
news and internet browsing, and washing dishes and house keeping
while my wife volunteers at the BABE store. Ah, some volunteer work,
that would be a pleasing answer for many. If I only had the time.
June 9,
2012
What is Heaven Like in My Mind?
(Imagination)
For at least two thousand years people have tried to picture
Heaven- the next life after this one. The final book of the Bible has the most
vivid images anywhere found that I recall. Some take it literally and accurate
according to our capacity to picture it as a most beautiful place. I suppose my
thinking has evolved beyond those images although not eliminating any of those
pictures. I want to share some of the details that have come to me in the past
years from various experiences and suggestions.
We used to think of Heaven as somewhere up there far away
from earth. Some years ago I learned that Gerald Derstine, whom we have met
only a few times, believed that heaven will be right here on earth. The Book of Revelation does talk of heaven
coming down, apparently to where we are, although there would be a new Heaven
and a new earth. So maybe it would be right here.
But how much of the here would continue or resemble the new
Earth/Heaven? Some years ago as I was
walking through our orange farm in Belize on a Sunday morning in an atmosphere
of worship, I suddenly exclaimed, “God are you enjoying this as much as I am?” I went back home and after that, sooner or
later, made a map of every tree on the farm, as much as possible, and entitled
it, “Our Garden of God.” God made the earth as he wanted it to be, the way he
enjoyed it, and the way his image in man would appreciate it as much as he
could comprehend it. I have often been enthralled by the wild flowers in
natures, in hidden places where no man would ever see them. God must have
planted them for his own bountiful enjoyment. So if this is what he wanted man
to enjoy even as he does, why would not Heaven be in the pattern of nature as
we appreciate it?
Certainly there would be differences. There would not be
heat or cold that would make us uncomfortable. Either we or temperatures would come together
comfortably. Our bodies might change, or the weather might! There are also
matters of time and space that will be different. Time is a measurement of
duration for man's sake so he can tell when things are happening as life here
has limited duration. In eternity, time will not be a factor. As God is the
light and there will be no need for the sun, according to Scripture, there will
be no day or night- just the perpetual light of God's presence- everywhere.
Somehow, space also will no longer be a barrier to fellowship either. We will
not be limited in traveling ability, but as spirits, we will crisscross distance without reference
to space limitations of gravity or inertia. There will also be eternity to meet
all the people we knew here and so there will be no longing to meet anyone
without being able to access them any time as time will be no more.
On the question of Heaven being on earth. I suppose it is
also more plausible with my experience in Belize where we were closer to nature
unspoiled. And now back here in Indiana, having the fortunate experience of
enjoying our own little Garden of God where we live. It just seems that nature
altered a bit would be heaven. There is
also our retirement which enlightens our view of heaven. All our needs are
supplied without necessitating work. We tend the land as no doubt Adam was to
do in the original Garden of God. Just “tending it” so we. It is activity but
not work. It is at our leisure, not of our necessity. It is to make this Garden
more as we like it, a right God has entrusted to us in making us co-maintainer
of his earth. So Heaven will also find us moving about in joyful activity in a
glorious Nature environment.
Certainly Heaven is more than I picture above. At least this
maybe the beginning as Heaven may be. It would be absurd to assume any close
picture of all God has prepared for us. What about the restoration of all our
personalities that will be renewed and healed , enabling us to relate in joyous
harmony? What about the full knowledge and experience of God's love? What of
knowing those of the rest of God's creation in other worlds? There will be so
much more than we can imagine in the best of our dreams.
Shopping- Creativity out of Boredom
(Humor?)
For some time, I have realized that I find myself shopping
with my wife frequently and voluntarily, yet usually with some reservation in
the way it turns out. I get bored while she is still going forth full steam. So
what is the answer? I have found my creativity of ideas kicks in the longer I
have to wait until she appears ready to leave the store. This happens most
frequently at Menards or Walmart's, where fortunately they have a seat past the
check-out clerks, just as if they might be set up for persons in my situation.
So here are some ideas that have spawned in my mind as I have sat occasionally
in this locale of patient meditation when I am not really interested in shopping
any more, or after I just tag along.
As I was walking with
Loretta through Kroger store for the first time since we came back from Belize,
and continually having to urge her on, I had the feeling that it is dangerous
for her to be in a big store with me. Not only that she might be tempted to buy
something by inspiration, but that she might lag behind and I would not be able
to find her for a while as happened several days ago at a Walgreen store. There
I looked down every aisle twice without locating her. Of course she might also
want to buy something on impulse, and that would then place us in double
jeopardy, risk losing both her and our money. O well, we will likely get used
to these big dangerous places sooner or later.
Sometimes as I am
moving along I realize that she is no longer with me. I have reminded her of
what happened to Lot's wife when she looked backward. She is not exactly
pleased with that, but how can we go where we want to go, and when I
want to go? As we look through all the
sale papers, I am quite sure we would save more if we would not go for bargains and just buy
what we need. Last night we needed milk and so we went to two grocery stores
and spent over $14.00. Remember, we just needed milk. Seems I have lost the lust for luxuries,
“shopping", and splurging. Nov.
7, 2010
We were going down the aisles at Menards when a man came
along; and noticing that we had only one small item in a big cart, he mentioned
as he walked by me that I likely will need a bigger cart for all that. Without
thinking, I bounce back with “I wish I had a bigger cart so I could lie down in
it as my wife does her shopping.” The man laughed as he went his way and later,
Loretta also had the good humor to laugh at my spontaneous remark in that
store. May
23, 2012
As I sat on a hard seat while Loretta was continuing
shopping at Walmart, I thought of writing to the manager that shopping is so
exciting for women that they should have a room where men could sleep while
women continue shopping. Probably it would be a good investment as women would
feel free to shop as long as they pleased without husbands on their backs to
quit shopping. 7-4-2012
Probably some ideas are so bizarre they barely merit the ink
required to record them, still they flash through my mind at times. Like at
Walmart today, like usual, she was much more enthused to spend time there than
I was, like a child expecting a day at the zoo to observe all the variety of
animals; while I felt more like locked in a cage while she gazes about. Or in
pushing a big cart at Menards, I just felt we could save a lot of time if she
just sat in the cart as I pushed it around to the things we needed- according
to my interests. The cart at least would have been big enough.
Another time when I was ready to check out, she lagged
behind and then sped off on another excursions to buy something and I was left
standing there in line, wishing I had a chair to rest in until she returns. Why
can’t stores accommodate old people better than that, especially older people
with wives with much greater enthusiasm for endless shopping?
P. 2
As epic simile: Like a child excitedly roving all over in a
day at a zoo, oblivious of the flight of time while the parent just wishes the
“day” would end sooner but had no other course but to tag along the whole
while, so I felt when we were at Walmart and she wanted to stay much longer
than I did and there was little I could do to shorten our time there, but to
just bide my time until she was ready to go.
So what do I do while I feel caged in? Well, today I watched
the people go by and noted how overweight many were; almost all were women. So
I estimated how much they were overweight- like 10, 20, or 30 pounds, totaling
the amounts as they passed before me:
480 pounds in the first 5 minutes. There might be more edifying activity
when I am waiting, but at least it gave me something to do. I tried to be kind
and generous in my judgments. I just hope no reader will look back and mark
this day as beginnings of senility. August
16, 2012
New Love and Old Love
How is it that newly found love is so
wonderful, but after a while then, it wears off and may be considered
old love, perhaps still there but quite different so that we would
like to experience “new” love again?
Consider how people fall in love, like
a 15 year old girl on a family TV program was swept off her feet when
a fellow smiled at the dinner table, and later she cried when he left
the family. So also, newly marrieds are often immensely happy at
their wedding and hopefully on their honeymoon having promised to
love until death parts them. Yet many break that vow, being lured by
a new lover, or seeking out someone who turns them on again like the
first love as if their first love becomes an old love and the want a
fresh new love again.
There are many other examples on great
first love and enthusiasm only to wish for a renewed love when time
has passed with the first love. A new challenging job with hope may
get old even when it succeeds. New church members and believers in
Christ may also experience their first love wearing down so they may
wonder what all the excitement was about in the beginning. Why does
this happen so regularly so that there must be some underlying common
causes for this occurrence?
On common factor is that a first love
is usually based on inexperience and an only a partial understanding
of what will be involved. Newlyweds have usually been on their best
behavior and putting their best side forward and who they really are
in the stresses of life and continual close living only comes out
over time in new situations and feeling not experienced before. The
nitty-gritty of the job after the glitter is worn off may make it
only more of the same day after day. Spiritual highs are not usually
maintained, however one feeds them. So initial highs of enthusiasm
and love are based on partial knowledge of what a continued satiation
of that situation will bring forth as it is lived out.
Love also resembles an addiction in
that a little will give you a high in the beginning but will require
more and newer experiences to duplicate what was experienced at
first. The teen who gets excited over a smile at first, later needs
far more expressions of love to feel that good. After you have
learned the job you thought would be so exciting, you later wonder
what more there is to experience to make it challenging as it was in
the beginning. Perhaps the first love was never meant to be realty in
the long haul. After the honeymoon, you need to live in the real
world, not that of fantasy
Could a better orientation and set of
expectations prepare one for the experience of life after the first
love wears off? Perhaps to separate infatuation from the reality of
human experience would be helpful, but what officiator at a wedding
wants to tell the whole story of the darkest parts of married life?
Or could employers find workers if he told applicants the whole story
of the job? Would anybody get married or take a job if they knew
everything? Further, how far would marriage get without the initial
boost of enthusiasm of the hope to live happily ever after? Perhaps
there is some value in affirming our first loves with some
understanding of the necessity and reality of long term perseverance
in the inevitable new experiences and vicissitudes of life
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF
When Jesus was asked by the rich young
man what he must do to get eternal life, Matthew 19:12-22, Jesus
listed the commandments including loving your neighbor as yourself.
Certainly this was a personal challenge for personal salvation. But
what about the salvation of the church- any congregation? What if a
congregation was challenged to love its neighbors as itself in order
to receive eternal life? Then the church must ask, “Who are the
neighbors of the church?” People may prefer to keep the question
local. But when the needs from around the world vividly and
repeatedly break through on our big TV screens, there is a whole new
dimension to neighborhood compared to when Jesus was on earth. Is not
the neighbor anyone whom you see in desperate need? Do not the
orphans and all people around the world who have never had a chance
to hear the Gospel become our neighbors? The neighbor becomes all
people in our vision who have the need to experience the whole
Gospel.
But back to the church faced with the
global neighbor. What concern is the church challenged to have if it
loves the ‘neighbor as itself’. Literally it would mean that the
church has an equal responsibility to care for the ‘neighbor’ as
for itself. Is it too blatant to suggest that it might mean to
share in equal measure in its prayer, financial, and personnel
resources with the world neighbor? If so it would spend a lot of time
and focus thinking about the needy neighbors around the world, just
as it does on its local internal needs. One could ask how much the
church is really giving to God and the “neighbor” when most of
the financial and other resources are simply spent on taking care of
its own needs. We pay for a comfortable environment so we can worship
and fellowship with each others. The leadership is our servant and we
pay them for their services- services to us. Is that really giving an
offering to God when it is for our own benefit? Are we not really
loving ourselves much more than the neighbor as the church is
organized and using its resources?
A congregation would be faced
immediately on how it could help the global neighbor as much as
itself. The answer is simpler on paper than in logistics: either cut
local expenses or double giving through the church, or a combination
of both. Certainly they would need to meet the needs of the neighbors
among themselves as well as those locally around the congregation.
They could not be ignored locals in favor for the neighbor abroad
although the church would need to recognize the likely greater
desperation around the world.
Remember, this was part of Jesus’
answer to the question on how to get eternal life. He spelled out the
option “if you want to be perfect”, of selling and giving to the
poor [neighbor]. Is it too much to suggest that the church’s choice
of hoarding resources likely leads to Spiritual discontent and a
“sadness” like it did for the young man? Do we prefer wealth and
spiritual “sadness” rather than the “perfection” of real
happiness in loving the neighbor as we love ourselves? Where does it
fit in that God loves a cheerful [hilarious] giver? That sure is a
long way from the uneasy church, or perhaps the church does not know
how happy it could be if they would follow Jesus’ radical challenge
to love the global neighbor like itself. That would really be
following Christ!
Sept. 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
We Met Angels In Mexico
History is replete with angels, or messengers of God,
meeting people in a special hour of need, or to communicate a message from God.
Since angels are often pictured as having wings, many assume that angels would
not appear as human beings. One favorite program at our house is “Touched by an
Angel” where the “angels” appear as normal human beings, almost. The real
meaning of angel, is a messenger of good news. Thus they do not need wings to
qualify as angels and such visitors appearing as humans should not be
diminished in our minds one bit the fact of being real angels, sent by God.
Perhaps angels may have come to our help many times but were
not recognized as such because of their human appearance. I have vivid memories
of such occasions. Once we were traveling from Belize to the U.S. through Mexico by bus, or so we
intended. We were going to use our credit card for tickets and had no idea that
it would take angels to get us through. In Chetumel, Mexico where we wanted to get our tickets, we were informed
they would not accept our credit card for payment. They told us we could use
the ATM machine in the depot and get cash. But when we tried, we were told we
had to give a pin number, which we had never heard of in the U.S. As we were
frustrated over this and wondering how we would ever manage a trip, a young man
approached us who spoke English. Yet he was Mexican where usually only Spanish
is spoken. He explained we would have to call the central bus headquarters in
Vera Cruz, half way through our intended travel in Mexico and get approval. We
could get a ticket only that far and then we would have to get another ticket
to take us to the U.S. Border. With the help of that youth we were able to get
the approval to use our credit card. But what would happen in Vera Cruz, in the
heart of Mexico?
When we came to that city, we went to the place where a
phone call could be made to the local office. But explaining our situation to the
desk was another matter. Had I just been able to explain in Spanish, “We need
approval from the main office to use our credit card,” there may have been
little problem. But we had no such ability to get the message through. Then,
standing right behind us was a man who over heard our predicament totally, and
told the clerk what we needed. He was then connected to the office and he spoke
with them and in a few minutes were we were approved to use our credit card.
But that was not the end of it. This “Man” took us to the ticket office to get
our ticket for us, and steered us to the next window on the side where we were
ticketed not on the regular bus which would have been an excellent bus compared
to any bus we ever rode on in our own country, but rather on a super class bus
we had never used- for only a little more cost. That man stayed with us until
we had tickets in hand. When we asked him then how he spoke English, he gave us
an answer of some town we never had heard
of and no clear answer as to why he would speak English. In Mexico we had
hardly ever met anyone in all our travels who spoke more then a few word in
English. In form, the man disappeared
after our needs were were taken care of.
One could write all this off as just a way God helped us in
an unusual way in our desperation. But why should we not recognize this man as
sent by God, whether in another task he may have had wings, or not even needed
them to be a messenger of God? I remember Son Conrad relating of their
traveling where the motor of their vehicle simply refused to run and he had no
idea why not. There, at a toll road service station, he had raised the hood,
when a man came and without saying much, tinkered with something and the motor
functioned normally. The man walked off in the drive-parking space and when
Conrad looked up, there was neither man or vehicle in the direction the man
took off. I recall another time we took an old car to Belize for someone and in
the morning after sleeping in the border town of Brownsville, the car would not
start and I had no idea why not. Two men emerged from the hotel and seeing our
plight came over and immediately knew what to do: take off the distributor cap
and dry it out; and we were on our way.
In the same town on another trip with a Ford pick-up we had
problems where a massive pool of oil
flooded under the vehicle as we had refueled for the Mexican road. We
went up the border to a Ford garage where we had difficulty even getting the
attention of the manager. When he was told our problem, he declared we needed
major work on the engine which would take some days and cost us hundreds. We
headed back to the Mennonite voluntary service unit where we had spent the
night and they told us of a reliable small garage that could help us. This
garage, however was very busy, but they directed us to a place not too far away
where there was a small garage behind a car parts store. We went there and it
seemed only a helper was there who spoke so little English we were not sure he
understood what we needed. However, he took out of the car a small plastic
item, called a PVC valve and directed us to the parts store up front where we
then went and got it. We ended up paying $17.00 for the repair, whether that
was for the part or the total work, I can't say. How did we find the right
answer to our problem where the wrong answer could have cost us a hundred times
the amount needed to do the job? Angels, a number of good news messengers
sending us on our way to Belize with no further problems of oil spilling out.
I recall another trip where we were pulling a big trailer
behind a car, probably the car that had stalled in Brownsville. We had made an
unusual stop at a place for reasons I have no recollection, barely large enough
to have a gas pump. As we were stopping there, a man pointed out that the lug
nuts of the trailer were coming loose. The wheel was just at the point where
traveling would soon have worn the rim
down where nuts no longer could have been tightened. We did what we needed to
do, tightening them, probably thanking the informer, and sailed on toward
Belize. Why did we stop there? Why was that bystander looking at our trailer
wheel? What extreme inconvenience could it have been had we not met a messenger
of God to help us along? We might never have reached Belize with that trailer
and contents, unless we could have found another trailer in that stretch of the
country.
How many other times God led us through that country where
catastrophe could have happened! Like when we were stopped by a man in a plain
car checking our vehicle for drugs. He had a portable red flashing light on his
dash and poked a pistol in his pants as he walked up to our car. For days I did
not know if he was for real or not. I had refused to let him examine our Jeep until I had seen
his ID badge again. Even then I took out the keys when I let him inside our
truck, looking for drugs. Or the time we
were stopped at gun point by an army or police gang, and they siphon gas out of
our tank while we waited the helplessly and protesting feebly. (We could have
drive off, but they had guns!) In 7 trips through Mexico, we never had a
serious hold up or delay of any kind even in traveling with used and older
vehicles usually. God was always with us with his messengers of protection
around us, both for the durability of the vehicle and our safety. I am reminded
of the Psalmist's conviction, “A thousand shall at your right hand and ten
thousand at your left, but it shall not come near to you.”
The Costs and Rewards of Discipleship in Missions in
Belize (rev)
One way to think of what the Belize experience has meant to
us is to look at what it has cost us to follow Christ in his call to serve in
Belize and what the rewards have been to follow him here all these years. When
I start thinking about it, it seems the costs have been great as well as the
rewards practically infinite. This certainly corresponds to the words of Jesus
which are usually taken as hyperbole. But to us the words have been almost
literally true. I am thinking of the words of Jesus where he said, "Truly,
I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or
mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will
not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and
mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come
eternal life. Mark 10:29-30.
I suppose we usually don’t lay these verses over our
experiences out of modesty and humility. We don’t want to think or cause anyone
to think that we have made great sacrifices, or have suffered a lot or
heroically, nor that we would be expecting any kind of great reward for what we
have done. Yet perhaps it is permissible to recognize that Jesus is calling for
great sacrifices and offering tremendous incentives by way of rewards if we are
willing to give up a lot in order to receive a whole heap more. Perhaps our
modesty and humility blinds us to the overwhelming challenge and promise of
Jesus in his words to those who would be followers. Perhaps our Mennoniteism
blinds us to some of the most astonishing words of Jesus. It makes me wonder
what else we might be missing in his teachings.
The cost of following a sense of call was itself a
challenge, with doubts as to the timing and our gifts. We were divided as to
the call. Would we follow him into areas uncharted for us before? Was it the
right time to leave family then, as we still had a teen girl who was not yet
fully established in her life? Would Loretta be challenged to do things she
felt no natural talented to do? I
wondered if I was gifted to teach leaders, not considering myself clearly a
successful leader. It was so risky I stated publicly that if I would be going
on only my own sense of call without the affirmation of many, I would be very
foolish. The cost of following the call was a risk, and especially as we did
not have an equal sense of calling at that time. The reward however became a
meaningful life far exceeding the cost of running so great a risk. It went far
beyond our expectations and confidence. We had faith and imagination for only a
two-three year term. Yet this pilgrimage has stretched out for 22-23 years,
with no clear end in sight. Daily life is a challenge, and daily, if we are not
too tired to notice it, there is always one more opportunity, perhaps many, to
live around people who love us, are receptive to our love, and who are willing
to experience God’s love. If we scrutinized carefully our call originally, we
can now ask when our work will be coming to a close. The positive relations
make it difficult to leave here, just as it was hard to be sure about leaving
the States years ago.
It was also a risk to venture out on a 3,000-mile trip, half
of it through a foreign country with our poor facility of the language. In the
back of our minds, we had many tragic stories of what has happened to people
driving through Mexico. We were not really
P.
2
scared, but we were greatly comforted knowing that there
were many people praying for us. It felt so good to get through Mexico that I
told the first English speaking person at the border how good I felt. Yet the
blessing of God was so obvious in our travel. We made every stop over night,
for six nights, just where we had projected on a schedule. There were no
accidents. police harassments, robbery, auto mishaps, or break downs- until we
were a hundred miles inside Belize: here we had a low tire and we repaired it.
We were so happy with the tour through Mexico and into Belize that when we
reach the promised land of Belize, I stopped the car and got out and kissed the
ground. If we had language problems, they were fading, except that once we were
over-charged at a filling station because I was not sure of the bill and
confident of dealing in pesos. Knowing God was with us all the way with safety
was like a promise from the Psalms and many other Scriptures. God was good and
watching over us each mile and step.
But looking back, we left brothers, sisters, parents,
children and two infant grandchildren, about 3 weeks and 5 months old. These we
had to entrust to their young mothers. We hoped we would see our parents again.
Each year, when I would say goodbye to my father, he and I probably had the
same question in mind: will we see each other again? The mothers in our tribe
also had newborns again and again until there were 18. We were there for the
births of only about half. Sometimes we could have wondered if we really had to
make that sacrifice and be away from our children’s families, watching those
little ones coming and growing up throughout the year between our visits. We
missed so many winter holidays when the families certainly were together. Our
memories of when we were always with them were vivid reminders of what we were
missing. We could have asked Jesus with Peter, ”We have left all to follow you.
What is in it for us?”
I met veteran Belize Missionary Paul Martin the year before
we first went to Belize. When he heard where we were headed, he extended his
arms toward us and said, “They will walk into your arms” His prophecy has been
fulfilled hundreds of times. From the youth who called us from WYAM as we
arrived, just wanting to talk with the new missionary, to the 4 year old whose
mother has sickle cell anemia, who walked toward me today and put his arms
around my legs and looked up at me with a heart of love, we have found a family
that out-numbers the close family we left back home by a significant ratio.
Olga, mother of that YWAMer was a sister to us. Many others became brothers and
sisters, and youths and children have been our grandchildren, and their
parents, the age of our children, and many of them also close friends. A
customs official on the Guatemala border and a lady worker at the international
airport made themselves known as having met us or known us well years ago. I
meet many who I faintly recognize at all, who felt a relationship in their
growing up years. We have enough family here to make our children and
grandchildren wonder where they fit in. Yes, they are still there in growing
numbers and maturity as we devote several months each summer to be with them.
But our international family has also grown well beyond our ability to remember
them all and continues to grow. Presently, 4-5 fellows and a teen girl no doubt
wish they could be fully incorporated into our Belizean family household. Many
have wished they could travel to the States to meet our other family. Four
little pre-school children who were our children for some months were
privileged to go to the States and be joined to families
P.
3
there in our back-home church family. They are like
grandchildren every summer when we visit them. The list could go on and on, of
persons who became our family in Belize.
We left a few to go to Belize. But the family has
multiplied, just like the words of Jesus’ promise while the back-home family
also grows.
However, one of the ever-repeating occurrences in Belize is
the loss of things that we value and consider a part of our valued environment.
There is no way we can guarantee that people will not steal from us. How many
cameras, tools, and electronic music equipment items we have lost, I have no
way of recalling. If it doesn’t happen for a while, we only need to wait until
we are shocked again by the painful discoveries of things missing. CD players
have lasted less than a month; a video camera we bought last summer disappeared
several weeks ago from our bedroom. Is no space in our house respected or
sacred to us? When youth borrow an “adjustable” to repair a bike, after so many
times, it simply vanishes. Every summer when we return from the States we
replenish things lost. We wonder if it is even worth buying any cameras or
tools of quality and value. The video camera we lost recently I had bought
because it was on an outrageous sale, but even then without consulting my wife
as she probably would have discouraged me from investing in one more camera. We
have no working camera presently to record something of our exciting life. In a
few weeks we will have to decide if we will buy another, and how much we will
pay for it, considering the short life of such objects.
Perhaps if we are wise we will recall the words of Jesus
about not laying up treasure on earth where thieves break into and steal, but rather
lay them up in heaven where they will be safe forever. Thus we have shared with
many who were in destitute poverty, whose children needed medicine and medical
tests, school books, uniforms and supplies, and of course, food for their daily
lives. We have liquidated some of our real estate back home [well, it isn’t
sold yet, but just in a credit line] and invested it in the Bank of Heaven
where thieves do not break into and steal. If we have not had many talents to
invest, at least we have placed some in the Bank where it will draw eternal
interest for the Master. We know he will supply all our needs and our
investments are secure. Because of these safe investments some dozens of kids
and their mothers have had more secure lives in an economy where there was
hardly any safety net to catch them. They have experienced the love of God and
have reasons to turn to him in gratitude. They are teaching their children of
God’s grace in our giving, we hope. So while the treasures are laid “UP” the
benefits are abounding to many here and now. Of that we are deeply gratified.
We might almost over
look Jesus mentioning of lands to leave and a promise if we are willing to do
so. In that little town plot of about an acre that we left in Indiana, we
enjoyed the landscaping and gardening. It wasn’t a park, but it was a beautiful
spot where our home was situated. There were always things to do to make it
beautiful and the work was energizing and rewarded by the beauty and the crops
we reaped each year in our garden. While it was hardly noticeable as something
that we were giving up to follow in the call to Belize, it was home and a
comfortable place to live
P. 4
But in Belize when we were helping farmers get into farming,
we were drawn to land ourselves. We got a government lease of ten acres,
planted orange trees, hundred of pineapple, many plantain and some mango trees.
We labeled one spot “Wilderness Island” and another “Wilderness Paradise.” We
built a small house on an island in the middle of the creek. The reward was not
only in what fruit we carried home but also in the joy of working out there and
developing it. A few years later we had the opportunity to buy ten acres of
orange trees nearer our town. It was at a bargain price and much closer than
the first farm. We learn to reap and sell oranges and supplied many to our
friends. We planted many banana and plantain between the young orange trees.
Where trees failed, we planted other kinds of fruit trees, many exotic and only
occasionally found in Belize. It is a hobby to collect fruit trees, numbering
over 40 at this point with more than half bearing fruit. Once when I was
walking along to find more fruit, I suddenly exclaimed, “God, are you enjoying
this as much as I am!?” It seems such a gift of God that I have drawn a map
marking every tree, well almost every tree- and calling the map, “The Garden of
God”. It is also a gift to us to keep up the spirit and maintain the body
healthily. Many in our Belizean family have also enjoyed going out there to
reap and work with us. Children and youth frequently ask when we are going out
there again. Who said missionary work has to be all labor?
Probably the most ambiguous part of our life in Belize is
that many people suppose we could just drop everything and go “act our age”
back home. Not that I have heard those actual words, but the idea has come from
our children, a few from our home church, and even between us the question
arises. In Belize, there seem to be close friends who have little enthusiasm of
what we are doing and our commitment to the poorest for the sake of Christ.
Several projects that could have changed the lives of persons long after we are
gone were dropped for ambiguous reasons. We could so easily have led in those
visions had we wanted to do it as foreigners. But we felt they should be
developed by others and locals. Few youth have been drawn into the church and
some in “our family” have said they don’t feel welcome. We stand somewhat alone
in our work, though perhaps more with schools and social agencies than with the
church in helping youth who are otherwise headed for school drop-out, crime,
poverty and drugs, without parental guidance. Youth without fathers, or
mothers, or with no effective parenting may be socially and spiritually
retarded, that is, years behind where they should be in development. We labor
day by day, not always knowing when one such youth might explode violently when
he does not get his way. Others have so little hunger or awareness of Spiritual
realities. One could easily feel, “Why go on?”
Well, why? I suppose near the center of our motivation is a
sense of stewardship of our calling. We have been gifted with love, experience,
and some financial resources that we can continue usefully. Keith Green said
that soldiers are to obey the last order they got, and so we are waiting for a
different call to our lives. We also believe the Scriptures that “in due season.
We shall reap if we do not faint.” And great is the reward for faithfulness.
Also surrounding us are a host of supportive affirmations: The people we are
working with for a better life, the tropical climate, even the farm mentioned
above, the lack of
P. 5
Joneses to keep up with; and the lack of the temptation of
living for ourselves. There is also no compelling call, spiritually or other
wise, to go back north and fiddle around with lesser ministries, or scouring
around for a life anything meaningful and rewarding like the present life in
Belize. Certainly God could or might call us to leave at any time, and we need
to be as ready to go back as we were to come there. But again, the call needs
to be equally clear, not something we think up or reason by our selves.
We have never been preoccupied with the cost of faithfulness
or the great rewards that will follow. We have always known that there are such
challenges and motivations in the Bible, but we have always considered that it
would be presumptive to catalog them. If we need any excuse to do so here, may
it be to inspire others to do the same; to challenge them that nothing may be
lost of eternal value to pay any cost to follow Christ obediently. It should be
obvious, though not easy for many to realize and envision that God certainly is
a good and great rewarder of those who serve him. The wages are not skimpy, but
a windfall for the challenge accepted, and the devotion with which obedience is
expressed. One may well hope as I do, that the costs productively expended so
that the will and purpose of God would be fulfilled in us. Certainly the
rewards are generous and far beyond that which we assumed we accomplished for
His service. He is truly worthy of all we are and can do for Him, and
infinitely more. Only in eternity can we continue to express our gratitude for
his kindness to us for our meager service to him.
Written
while in Belize, Rev. May, 2008
The Costs and Rewards of Discipleship in Missions in
Belize (rev)
One way to think of what the Belize experience has meant to
us is to look at what it has cost us to follow Christ in his call to serve in
Belize and what the rewards have been to follow him here all these years. When
I start thinking about it, it seems the costs have been great as well as the
rewards practically infinite. This certainly corresponds to the words of Jesus
which are usually taken as hyperbole. But to us the words have been almost
literally true. I am thinking of the words of Jesus where he said, "Truly,
I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or
mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will
not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and
mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come
eternal life. Mark 10:29-30.
I suppose we usually don’t lay these verses over our
experiences out of modesty and humility. We don’t want to think or cause anyone
to think that we have made great sacrifices, or have suffered a lot or
heroically, nor that we would be expecting any kind of great reward for what we
have done. Yet perhaps it is permissible to recognize that Jesus is calling for
great sacrifices and offering tremendous incentives by way of rewards if we are
willing to give up a lot in order to receive a whole heap more. Perhaps our
modesty and humility blinds us to the overwhelming challenge and promise of
Jesus in his words to those who would be followers. Perhaps our Mennoniteism
blinds us to some of the most astonishing words of Jesus. It makes me wonder
what else we might be missing in his teachings.
The cost of following a sense of call was itself a
challenge, with doubts as to the timing and our gifts. We were divided as to
the call. Would we follow him into areas uncharted for us before? Was it the
right time to leave family then, as we still had a teen girl who was not yet
fully established in her life? Would Loretta be challenged to do things she
felt no natural talented to do? I
wondered if I was gifted to teach leaders, not considering myself clearly a
successful leader. It was so risky I stated publicly that if I would be going
on only my own sense of call without the affirmation of many, I would be very
foolish. The cost of following the call was a risk, and especially as we did
not have an equal sense of calling at that time. The reward however became a
meaningful life far exceeding the cost of running so great a risk. It went far
beyond our expectations and confidence. We had faith and imagination for only a
two-three year term. Yet this pilgrimage has stretched out for 22-23 years,
with no clear end in sight. Daily life is a challenge, and daily, if we are not
too tired to notice it, there is always one more opportunity, perhaps many, to
live around people who love us, are receptive to our love, and who are willing
to experience God’s love. If we scrutinized carefully our call originally, we
can now ask when our work will be coming to a close. The positive relations
make it difficult to leave here, just as it was hard to be sure about leaving
the States years ago.
It was also a risk to venture out on a 3,000-mile trip, half
of it through a foreign country with our poor facility of the language. In the
back of our minds, we had many tragic stories of what has happened to people
driving through Mexico. We were not really
P.
2
scared, but we were greatly comforted knowing that there
were many people praying for us. It felt so good to get through Mexico that I
told the first English speaking person at the border how good I felt. Yet the
blessing of God was so obvious in our travel. We made every stop over night,
for six nights, just where we had projected on a schedule. There were no
accidents. police harassments, robbery, auto mishaps, or break downs- until we
were a hundred miles inside Belize: here we had a low tire and we repaired it.
We were so happy with the tour through Mexico and into Belize that when we
reach the promised land of Belize, I stopped the car and got out and kissed the
ground. If we had language problems, they were fading, except that once we were
over-charged at a filling station because I was not sure of the bill and
confident of dealing in pesos. Knowing God was with us all the way with safety
was like a promise from the Psalms and many other Scriptures. God was good and
watching over us each mile and step.
But looking back, we left brothers, sisters, parents,
children and two infant grandchildren, about 3 weeks and 5 months old. These we
had to entrust to their young mothers. We hoped we would see our parents again.
Each year, when I would say goodbye to my father, he and I probably had the
same question in mind: will we see each other again? The mothers in our tribe
also had newborns again and again until there were 18. We were there for the
births of only about half. Sometimes we could have wondered if we really had to
make that sacrifice and be away from our children’s families, watching those
little ones coming and growing up throughout the year between our visits. We
missed so many winter holidays when the families certainly were together. Our
memories of when we were always with them were vivid reminders of what we were
missing. We could have asked Jesus with Peter, ”We have left all to follow you.
What is in it for us?”
I met veteran Belize Missionary Paul Martin the year before
we first went to Belize. When he heard where we were headed, he extended his
arms toward us and said, “They will walk into your arms” His prophecy has been
fulfilled hundreds of times. From the youth who called us from WYAM as we
arrived, just wanting to talk with the new missionary, to the 4 year old whose
mother has sickle cell anemia, who walked toward me today and put his arms
around my legs and looked up at me with a heart of love, we have found a family
that out-numbers the close family we left back home by a significant ratio.
Olga, mother of that YWAMer was a sister to us. Many others became brothers and
sisters, and youths and children have been our grandchildren, and their
parents, the age of our children, and many of them also close friends. A
customs official on the Guatemala border and a lady worker at the international
airport made themselves known as having met us or known us well years ago. I
meet many who I faintly recognize at all, who felt a relationship in their
growing up years. We have enough family here to make our children and
grandchildren wonder where they fit in. Yes, they are still there in growing
numbers and maturity as we devote several months each summer to be with them.
But our international family has also grown well beyond our ability to remember
them all and continues to grow. Presently, 4-5 fellows and a teen girl no doubt
wish they could be fully incorporated into our Belizean family household. Many
have wished they could travel to the States to meet our other family. Four
little pre-school children who were our children for some months were
privileged to go to the States and be joined to families
P.
3
there in our back-home church family. They are like
grandchildren every summer when we visit them. The list could go on and on, of
persons who became our family in Belize.
We left a few to go to Belize. But the family has
multiplied, just like the words of Jesus’ promise while the back-home family
also grows.
However, one of the ever-repeating occurrences in Belize is
the loss of things that we value and consider a part of our valued environment.
There is no way we can guarantee that people will not steal from us. How many
cameras, tools, and electronic music equipment items we have lost, I have no
way of recalling. If it doesn’t happen for a while, we only need to wait until
we are shocked again by the painful discoveries of things missing. CD players
have lasted less than a month; a video camera we bought last summer disappeared
several weeks ago from our bedroom. Is no space in our house respected or
sacred to us? When youth borrow an “adjustable” to repair a bike, after so many
times, it simply vanishes. Every summer when we return from the States we
replenish things lost. We wonder if it is even worth buying any cameras or
tools of quality and value. The video camera we lost recently I had bought
because it was on an outrageous sale, but even then without consulting my wife
as she probably would have discouraged me from investing in one more camera. We
have no working camera presently to record something of our exciting life. In a
few weeks we will have to decide if we will buy another, and how much we will
pay for it, considering the short life of such objects.
Perhaps if we are wise we will recall the words of Jesus
about not laying up treasure on earth where thieves break into and steal, but rather
lay them up in heaven where they will be safe forever. Thus we have shared with
many who were in destitute poverty, whose children needed medicine and medical
tests, school books, uniforms and supplies, and of course, food for their daily
lives. We have liquidated some of our real estate back home [well, it isn’t
sold yet, but just in a credit line] and invested it in the Bank of Heaven
where thieves do not break into and steal. If we have not had many talents to
invest, at least we have placed some in the Bank where it will draw eternal
interest for the Master. We know he will supply all our needs and our
investments are secure. Because of these safe investments some dozens of kids
and their mothers have had more secure lives in an economy where there was
hardly any safety net to catch them. They have experienced the love of God and
have reasons to turn to him in gratitude. They are teaching their children of
God’s grace in our giving, we hope. So while the treasures are laid “UP” the
benefits are abounding to many here and now. Of that we are deeply gratified.
We might almost over
look Jesus mentioning of lands to leave and a promise if we are willing to do
so. In that little town plot of about an acre that we left in Indiana, we
enjoyed the landscaping and gardening. It wasn’t a park, but it was a beautiful
spot where our home was situated. There were always things to do to make it
beautiful and the work was energizing and rewarded by the beauty and the crops
we reaped each year in our garden. While it was hardly noticeable as something
that we were giving up to follow in the call to Belize, it was home and a
comfortable place to live
P. 4
But in Belize when we were helping farmers get into farming,
we were drawn to land ourselves. We got a government lease of ten acres,
planted orange trees, hundred of pineapple, many plantain and some mango trees.
We labeled one spot “Wilderness Island” and another “Wilderness Paradise.” We
built a small house on an island in the middle of the creek. The reward was not
only in what fruit we carried home but also in the joy of working out there and
developing it. A few years later we had the opportunity to buy ten acres of
orange trees nearer our town. It was at a bargain price and much closer than
the first farm. We learn to reap and sell oranges and supplied many to our
friends. We planted many banana and plantain between the young orange trees.
Where trees failed, we planted other kinds of fruit trees, many exotic and only
occasionally found in Belize. It is a hobby to collect fruit trees, numbering
over 40 at this point with more than half bearing fruit. Once when I was
walking along to find more fruit, I suddenly exclaimed, “God, are you enjoying
this as much as I am!?” It seems such a gift of God that I have drawn a map
marking every tree, well almost every tree- and calling the map, “The Garden of
God”. It is also a gift to us to keep up the spirit and maintain the body
healthily. Many in our Belizean family have also enjoyed going out there to
reap and work with us. Children and youth frequently ask when we are going out
there again. Who said missionary work has to be all labor?
Probably the most ambiguous part of our life in Belize is
that many people suppose we could just drop everything and go “act our age”
back home. Not that I have heard those actual words, but the idea has come from
our children, a few from our home church, and even between us the question
arises. In Belize, there seem to be close friends who have little enthusiasm of
what we are doing and our commitment to the poorest for the sake of Christ.
Several projects that could have changed the lives of persons long after we are
gone were dropped for ambiguous reasons. We could so easily have led in those
visions had we wanted to do it as foreigners. But we felt they should be
developed by others and locals. Few youth have been drawn into the church and
some in “our family” have said they don’t feel welcome. We stand somewhat alone
in our work, though perhaps more with schools and social agencies than with the
church in helping youth who are otherwise headed for school drop-out, crime,
poverty and drugs, without parental guidance. Youth without fathers, or
mothers, or with no effective parenting may be socially and spiritually
retarded, that is, years behind where they should be in development. We labor
day by day, not always knowing when one such youth might explode violently when
he does not get his way. Others have so little hunger or awareness of Spiritual
realities. One could easily feel, “Why go on?”
Well, why? I suppose near the center of our motivation is a
sense of stewardship of our calling. We have been gifted with love, experience,
and some financial resources that we can continue usefully. Keith Green said
that soldiers are to obey the last order they got, and so we are waiting for a
different call to our lives. We also believe the Scriptures that “in due season.
We shall reap if we do not faint.” And great is the reward for faithfulness.
Also surrounding us are a host of supportive affirmations: The people we are
working with for a better life, the tropical climate, even the farm mentioned
above, the lack of
P. 5
Joneses to keep up with; and the lack of the temptation of
living for ourselves. There is also no compelling call, spiritually or other
wise, to go back north and fiddle around with lesser ministries, or scouring
around for a life anything meaningful and rewarding like the present life in
Belize. Certainly God could or might call us to leave at any time, and we need
to be as ready to go back as we were to come there. But again, the call needs
to be equally clear, not something we think up or reason by our selves.
We have never been preoccupied with the cost of faithfulness
or the great rewards that will follow. We have always known that there are such
challenges and motivations in the Bible, but we have always considered that it
would be presumptive to catalog them. If we need any excuse to do so here, may
it be to inspire others to do the same; to challenge them that nothing may be
lost of eternal value to pay any cost to follow Christ obediently. It should be
obvious, though not easy for many to realize and envision that God certainly is
a good and great rewarder of those who serve him. The wages are not skimpy, but
a windfall for the challenge accepted, and the devotion with which obedience is
expressed. One may well hope as I do, that the costs productively expended so
that the will and purpose of God would be fulfilled in us. Certainly the
rewards are generous and far beyond that which we assumed we accomplished for
His service. He is truly worthy of all we are and can do for Him, and
infinitely more. Only in eternity can we continue to express our gratitude for
his kindness to us for our meager service to him.
Written
while in Belize, Rev. May, 2008
GOD, OUR
LOVING CRE ATOR
We have long
believed in God, our loving creator. We have mused on the meaning for us in
this present world and imagined what it may mean for our life beyond this world
in Heaven. But how many if anybody has actually pushed this conviction to its
logical dimension? This is of course impossible as we say we believe in an
infinite God and we know that we are only finite beings in every way except
that we will live eternally and are
given some degree of creativity and love whose limits we do not know. So here
in this essay we want to push out our understanding of what it may mean to have
a God that is both infinitely loving and infinitely creative. It is an act of worship to reflect on this
subject. It will be finite, limited to what we can perceive by the Spirit of
God living within the creativity that God has imparted to us.
Basically I
find it hard to believe that this God would have made only one earth with
people on it. What was He doing before He dreamed up this intricate world? Its
creation was a 7 day job according to Scripture, although its preparation may
have been untold millennium longer. From our perspective, Earth is the only
planet likely to have beings on near to our kind as we require a medium
temperature for existence. But there may be many solar systems beyond this one
which may as well have beings near our kind on at least one “earth” or perhaps
many earths. There may also be many kinds of beings not limited to our temperature
span, so that any planet may have different structures of beings. After all,
God is not of our physical kind but of Spirit, who is not limited to our
limitations of time and space and physical matter. We accept angels to be of
another dimension. As logically, there may be any number of planets or stars
inhabiting created being between what we call physical and Spiritual. There may
be other dimensions of beings with whom a loving God can communicate.
It is God’s
nature to love his creation just as we love our creations. Children are our
creation, formed by the gift of creativity God has implanted in his creation of
us. We would give our lives for our children just as God would and did in
Christ. But being finite, we can love only so many children intensely. God can
love any number of people in his infinite love. I suppose if we could love many
more children and provide for them we might have wanted many more. God has no
such limitation. He can have a billion as easily as a few. And care about all
of them and keep tract of them. How finite we are relative to Him! It only
makes sense that he would want what we would call an infinite number of
children for his infinite love to be spread throughout his universe. It makes
little sense that we would claim that we are his total concern here on planet
earth which resolves around only a medium sized star. While we perceive what we
believe is his infinite love for us, how obvious it is that he has “other sheep
not of this fold”!
Some years ago I
was on our orange farm on a Sunday morning watching over our half-reaped fruit.
It was a time of worship out there in nature, reflecting on the kindness of God
in giving us this ten acre farm of oranges. At one time that morning I was
walking across the farm, through the grass observing trees still to be picked
as well as other kinds of fruit trees I had planted. Suddenly I was filled with
exuberance and gushed out, “God, are you enjoying this as much as I am?! I went home and drew a map of every tree and
entitled it, “The Garden of God”. Here he gave us this farm to enjoy as we can
in our limited way. But he had millions of acres of farms, valleys, mountains,
woods, lakes, rivers, and oceans even here on this little planet. Certainly he
made it for us to enjoy, but nobody has even seen more than a minute fraction
of all he has made. I was so impressed once about the beauty of wild flowers
that I began to video them enlarged to see their intricate beauty.
For whom was
this beauty created? Certainly not for humans only. For his own joy he made
them as well as to share the beauty with us. We could as well focus on any
aspect of his creation and be just as amazed, from the building block of
matter, the tiny atom with dozens of components man has already identified and
observed in the varieties in the elements recognize by science; likely we are
still on the frontier of our understanding of matter; to the mystery of an
endless universe, endless to our limits of scientific perception, which expands
with every new way of perceiving matter, from telescopes to light detection or
what ever they used to “see” into space.
Why did God
make it so big and intricate that it is mind-boggling if we try to understand
much of it? With reverence I would suggest it was for his amusement and joy of
creating what he could; much more as we also try to create something new with
that drive to push out and try our ability to create, an instinct we definitely
have from him. Art, inventions, architecture, infrastructures, and literature
are examples of this divine drive to create what we can because we can. So God
loves His world- the universe, and pays attention to the smallest building
blocks of matter even as an artist focuses on the smallest element of his work,
in order to create the big picture of his vision. The universe is this picture
of his creative imagination that he created for himself to express himself.
It is not
enough that God made an infinite universe. He created life in order to relate
to his creation somewhat on his level. A pagan writer noted that “we also are
of his offspring”. We are made in his image, an idea we accept by faith but
can’t fully describe in all the dimensions of that hereditary factor as we do
not know our Parent even as we do not fully understand ourselves. What we can
be sure of is that it is a dimension of his love that he wants someone to
relate to, so he made children like himself to have that contact with. If there
is any downside to God’s love, it is that it makes him lonely when he is alone,
or has too few children for his expansive love. How he yearns to have more
children to love, who will know and recognize him and love him back! How he
yearns to expand the number of recipients of that love!
Throughout the
eons of our time measurements he most likely has created countless worlds of
creatures, plants, matter, and people to relate to. How many worlds have opted
to freely love him when given a choice as we have been, and how many made the
foolish choice of our first ancestors who imagined God may not have told them
the whole truth? In his infinite love, he desired to give his created children
the choice to love, trust, and listen to him. How beautiful it is of that love
that he also finally seals that choice for those who recognize him, giving them
respite and eternal joy in Heaven! Apparently he can’t stand to let the
Deceiver plague us beyond this limited earthly life. He wants to gather his
loved ones to himself to be safely with him, as we say, forever. That may just be
the next step of his eternally creative love. Meanwhile, he has a wonderful
“time” creating new worlds and new peoples in his ongoing quest to pursue and
enlarge the fellowship of those who know him. He welcomes those who know his
heart to participate in bringing multitudes into his fellowship of infinite
love.
Sept. 21, 2009
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