Eighty-Two and Counting

Today, May 8, I turned 82. What does that mean? It is another marker of getting older which I have been doing for a long time. In some ways it is nothing-almost. But from another viewpoint, it is a stage of life beyond which fewer than 50% of a population achieve.

It is trite to say that you are only as old as you feel. Perhaps it is the slight validity of that saying that keeps it alive. But then, how does one know how one should feel at any time? Perhaps it’s your attitude that really spells out your age. How well do you feel about where you are? That’s the issue.

So, how do I feel? Pretty good for being 82, I suppose. Yet I do have a perpetual feeling of tiredness, which soon gets even worse when I work even part of an hour. Several hours of work give me a good excuse for lying down for a while. I suppose this easy tiring is my chief indication that I am more than 70 years old, if I can compare it to that age. Then there is also my vision. Even though a recent eye exam rated me at very nearly 20/20, I still feel that my vision is somewhat frustrated. It is not blurry, but perhaps my peripheral vison is a bit weaker. Anyway, I can still drive without glasses, but reading is difficult even without good lighting or large bold print. So I suppose I feel normal for being 82.

Then there is the psychology of my age; I have less motivation to do much. Reading is fine, and writing is easy if I have something to write, like this analysis of my aging. But do I have something to look forward to that I want to hang around a long time? My family down to the third generation greatly intrigues me. Those 13 great-grands, I sure would like to see them in their teen years; and more to come. I don't expect to see a generation after that- I would likely have to be a hundred years old. I would like to live until most of my family would feel I have lived long enough for a good life!

Should I have any hopes for a certain number of years yet? My days are not mine to choose. Statistics are not too helpful in justifying any prediction. I can hope to have from 2-15 years yet, and let God choose how many. Yet I do pray for a good many years, and good years, without a lingering deteriorating life. My in-laws went from old age normal to their transition in only about 6 months for both of them. That would be as good as you can hope for.

I suppose most of the above leads to a preoccupation with the ending of this life. I have written a simile that I imagine it is like walking along the side of a mountain on a cliff, which seems to get narrower at times and you know that at some time it will be too narrow to proceed, but there is no turning back. . Then you will drop off, and that anticipation is what is scary. Yet as you fall, you know you are descending into a beautiful, heavenly lush valley, where your loved ones are waiting to greet you, and will escort you to meet the King to whom you will be grateful for having led you all your life, even loving you since you were a child- or before. The rest will be timeless, no more counting years or time but floating through eternity, endlessly.