Me and My Mother

                                                          (From my Biography)

There is no doubt in my mind that my mother has been the person of greatest influence in my life. From as far back as I can remember and certainly much longer, she was there to help me be the person I am today. It was her holy calling , she felt, to help me be the person God wanted me to be and become. Once she said that if she had only cared for us when she felt well, we would often have gone hungry or forage for ourselves. No doubt she also strove to teach and train us and me, perhaps especially, to become what she sense was her call from God.

I recall knelling at her knees, and learning a prayer which she hoped would make be a praying person on my own. I don't remember that it was for a long period of time that she had this practice, but she no doubt taught all her children to pray. She was a praying person. When Dad was away traveling, she led the family in Scripture reading and prayer. She wore her prayer veil at night in bed so she would always be ready to pray which I assume was her resort when she lay awake at night. She was concerned about all her children and I was there in the middle of her caring.

She was a teacher in many ways. She had a way of impacting ideas that have stuck deeply all my life.

Some things were simple, but never to be forgotten. Like when someone asks for something like a drink of water: serve them first before yourself. Scripture verses were a technique of teaching. “Honor others above yourself.” Don't inconvenience another person carelessly, like”Don't make someone wait on you.” Or against laziness- “Go to the ant thou sluggard; consider her ways and be wise.” Don't strengthen you words with I am sure: “Let your yes be yes and your no, no. What is beyond that is from evil”. The list of teachings from Scripture could go on and on.

She taught us respect for people in other ways. Don't say. “It is just like him to do so”. And you don't tell someone he is crazy if you disagree with him, even if you have strong feelings. Absolutely never call someone a fool. Oddly, we said 'thank you' mainly to persons outside the family. I don't know why that was. Did we say please? I don't know. Respect even though not today's politeness was stressed.

She was a person of peace and harmony. She may have chafed at Dad's frustrations, but would say little. Arguing at the table was called down. Once when my brother and I had a quarrel, we had to walk arm in arm from the barn to the house in demonstrated peace and unity. When I complained at how my sister made a long issue of eating her required single bite of oatmeal which she so detested, I was instructed to “look onto your own plate.” When our aging Grandfather live and ate with us, we were discouraged from arguing with him, regardless what subject came up.

She was much concerned that I would relate to her as a child should should- to respect and obey her as the Scripture prescribes for a child to do. She was creative and deliberate in her commitment to my upbringing. I found an original copy of a letter of her concerns for me in which she asked questions and I was to make commitments of “yes” (which I did):

“Will you pray for me that I can be a better mother and more understanding?” _____

“Will you be more quiet?”_____

“Will you be kinder to your brothers and sisters?”_____

“Will you refrain from talking back[to me]?____

“If you are told to do something, will you do it without being told the second time?”____

“Will you walk and sit down more decently?”____

Will you respect your father and grandfather more and not talk over them [gossiping about them]?”____

Will you be willing to do more than ask with a willing heart?”____

Will you be more quiet at the table?”____ [There were many of us at meal time.]

She concluded, “I will be praying because I know there is power in prayer and the devil will not want you to heed this and discourage you and say there is no use, but don't believe him. Christ is all powerful.”

I returned the paper with my commitments and request, “Pray for me that I do these things that I promised.”

She was a person of deep conviction and a sense of responsibility for and to me. That no doubt was passed down to me and all of us siblings. It was a pattern for me to raise my own children with a deep sense of challenge for them to become persons with self discipline, which was a challenge for me in my youth. I credit her for a sense of seriousness of life as Christians. Perhaps her sense of humor was not strong, but her role of “bringing us up for the Lord” was dominate in all of her life. I can only wish that I had made her life easier and been more responsive to her goals for me. She graduated to an early reward from God at the age of 73, a loss to me that I could no longer expect her loving concerns for me in my daily life.