Me and Daniel

He was always there. When I arrived, he was standing there looking down at me as some new arrival from some where he would not have known. I doubt that he saw any competition from that little helpless bundle. If anything, that came later. He would not have had to worry about it. I could never catch up. I am not sure that I even ever tried; it was just no use. He had such a head start, and more smarts anyway. So I just had to do how I could and realize that he would always be that older brother with what ever advantage older brothers have.

I wish I could recall events from our early life together. It seems he was naturally the leader and I was the loner. He paved the way to go to school two years before I did, and no doubt set the standards I was supposed to match, or perhaps he was afraid I might. He did not have to worry. My recollection is that he was always making more A’s and B’s than I could. Not that my parents drew attention to that, but I saw it. I just accepted it because he was smarter than I.

We enjoyed playing yard games when we were young. One favorite was sippi, using a short piece of broom stick and laying it across a little gully and then kicking it with a bigger stick to land it as far as possible. Or dare base. That was a favorite game for boring Sunday evenings, out in our yard between trees just naturally growing a proper distance from each other. It was a kind of tag game where we stole bases and caught each other if we could. Or monopoly which took several hours and not as versatile as checkers or chess. I suppose I gave him enough competition not to bore him too much and certainly never too much to discourage him. Anyway, we did the normal things for those days in our rural environment.

I suppose we had our usual tussles and conflicts in our childhood. Not that I remember anything we fought over, but our parents did their best to bring about reconciliation when needed. On one such occasion we had to walk to the barn and come toward the house arm in arm. It was a lot harder for him than for me. He had to put up with his little troublesome brother while I could walk with big brother who was humiliated by the experience. I still wonder what that was all about. He was never mean, but somehow this time was perceived to be part of a problem between us. I remember I was a bit amused by this “punishment” but he saw no humor in it at all.

Of course he could attend youth meetings two years ahead of me when he reached the 16 year milestone. He and my older sister would drive places in the horse drawn and buggy while I was wistfully left behind. The harness on his horse had decorative white plastic rings and he also knew how to install battery lights on the buggy, something that he passed on to me. I learned a lot from him. He pioneered growing up for me. We never talked much about girls, however. At some point I wondered what a date was, or what you do on dates as I recall. He was not very helpful. I guess I was too inquisitive. Or was he a bit shy? Of course He left home when I was only 17 so I had to figure out a lot of things by myself. I suppose I missed him; oddly I can’t remember. We were not very emotionally bonded.

There was one thing where I was quite helpful to him. Since I had the buggy to myself at 17, as I said, I saw persons needing a ride to youth activities, especially one I liked. I felt ready to get serious and marry before he did. Actually we got married before he even had a regular girl friend. Where I helped him most was in getting him to choose someone. I told him to select a partner as best man for our wedding, one whom he would consider seriously, not just a partner for the day. Prophetically, he chose the one he would later marry. Who knows how long he might have dallied around had I not challenged him to use his head, if not is heart as well in that matter? Fortunately, he doesn’t blame to this day for putting him on the spot then!

Daniel also went to college before I did. In fact, he graduated before I even started, I believe. But by that time we had one or two children; I forget just when he got married. I was surprised when he remarked later that I must have had some intellect that I could make it in college married while he had to study as hard as a single person could to make good grades. I bet he did better than my B average in college. Well, I guess I are still recalling competition over 40 years later. I do declare that he has much more history in his head than I possibly could have. If I have any question about any relative back to the Immigrant Jacob, he likely can give me the answer from the top of his head. He is our family historian, a genius at detail and record keeping. I have to struggle to even keep my bank accounts balanced!

Daniel is still going before me, showing me about growing older. He is demonstrating to me the way to handle the insecurities of changing health patterns, and still keeping busy and happy. Perhaps I will be able to relax when my time comes to change my activity. Daniel has been with me a long time. I hope he will always be there before me and for me. What would it be like not to have a brother like him, paving the way for me and pioneering so much from childhood through youth and into maturity? Thanks Dan!