Loving With Heart and/or Mind

We love with our heart when that is who we are. We love with our minds when that is just what we feel we should do in the situation where we find ourselves.

God loves because he is love. He does not decide that he should love people because of their situation. He just loves because that is his nature. We may love because it is the social call for action; for example, if someone gives us a gift. Or because it is the right thing to do to be consistent with our beliefs, like loving the unloving person next to us.

There are persons who, like my mother-in-law, loved because of her heart of love. I doubted she gave it any thought that she should hug us whenever we came to their home. She was just being who she was. Her husband also could show love, like hugs, but it seemed more because it was just the appropriate thing to do- not as spontaneous with joy and affection.  

When a couple prepares to sleep at the end of a day, they may hug or cuddle spontaneously. But after they have slept and one wakes up, he or she may consider whether snuggling close would be love if it may disturb the partner. Perhaps loving intentionally would be to leave the person alone. This would be loving with both heart and mind. Thinking what love would be in that situation.

If a person tends to love with the mind frequently, fitting into the situation suggesting loving expressions, can one shift, to become a person loving with the heart as well- loving from the depth within? It could be assumed this could happen with a married couple if the mind-loving person thinks about loving and responding to the love initiations of the partner. Perhaps also by being loved, a person may acquire a sense of love that had not been strong in his life earlier. It may also be that when a person shows love as a part of Christian commitment, e.g., perhaps as a missionary, or pastor, a spouse, or anyone, a capacity to love from the heart will also grow on him.

Another source of growing to love from the heart may be that of fellowship with God. Recognizing God's love in a person's life in so many ways from birth or before, may lead one to be a more loving person when one is thankful daily for that continuous love. Why not also ask God to give you a heart of love so you can love spontaneously and not just because it is the suitable things to do?

There should be various ways, then, that a person can grow in loving with the heart, rather than loving mainly where loving is the expected response. I have learned to be much more loving from the heart to my spouse by living a life of loving many people I meet in life. In Belize, it was the children and needy person who came to us daily. Loving them intentionally has grown in me a heart of love far beyond that which I had as a youth.