SEVENTY THINGS I STILL WONDER ABOUT (Second half of questions)

             “For we know in part…I think like a child…we see a poor reflection of reality…” I Corinth. 13

                              From my book, Icons of My Life, A Celebration of 70 years.

32. Why is God so slow in meting out justice to the oppressors and their victims?

33. Can God accept those as his children who do not walk in the peaceful way of Christ?

34. Should the Bible be considered a holy book, like a sacred object? Don’t Fundamentalists give credit to the book that belongs only to the main character of the Book, making the book an idol?

35. Is homosexuality genetic, or from one’s environment, or from circumstances? Is the origin and basis the same for all people? Are there degrees of fixation of orientation, from slight attraction, to exclusive attraction to the same gender?

36. Paul to the Romans seems to feel homosexual behavior is a kind of abandonment of God toward those who turn inexcusably from him. “He gave them over to…” Is homosexuality thus justifiably a point of focus for the church above other kinds of sexual sins, or just a present day point of controversy?

37. I still wonder how high the pile would be, if all the things that were stolen from us in Belize would be divinely reassembled on our living room floor!

38. I further wonder how many people have built a wall between us and them by thievery, isolating and insulating themselves from the Gospel we would want to share with them.

39. Is there any way we can protect our goods without being paranoia, having a big dog, or hiring a full time watchman? Even bank security fails at times.

40. What will be my Achilles’ heal, or fatal weakness, or will I just hold together until one day, like the Deacon’s One Horse shay, everything breaks down at one point in time.

41. How I can tell if an ache or pain is the beginning of something, or just a little more wear on this aging body.

42. If we were made in God’s image, then in how many ways are we like God our Father?

43. Am I as old fashioned and removed from the reality of youth as we used to think our parents and grand parents were when we were young?

44. Can a person live off the intimacy with God when intimacy with someone is lacking, or does intimacy have to be with someone in human skin?

45. Is it all right to think that Jesus may have been wrong in thinking that he would return to earth in the same generation that some of those lived who were hearing him speak?

46. Was Jesus thinking of situations like Belize when he said we should give to anyone who asks of us what we have? What of those willingly submitting to dependency in hard economies?

47. Will I always get tired easily the rest of my life?

48. How would I know if I am no longer as wise as I think I am?

49. I wonder how strongly and sincerely Dad believed in the Amish Ordnung as the best interpretation of Scripture and way of the Christian life, especially when I was a teen in the mid 50’s, or was he just pragmatic, seeking to maintain peace in the church and with churches?

50. I wonder if Dad was a weaker leader partly because he was ambivalent in the above years on rules and regulations.

51. I wonder if personal computers really enhance the quality of life for most people who have them, or are they mostly an electronic toy.

52. If they can make a computer that does a million things for under $400.00, why can’t they make one that lasts a week without malfunctioning? Why do programs stop responding?

53. I still wonder how we can basically affirm any culture over all as they all are practically deifications of fallen man’s values.

54. Does God laugh or cry at the foolishness of man, those who deny his existence, his creating the world, who think they may destroy human life that was created sacred by Him?

55. Is God satisfied with my life in any degree, or is he still longing for some break through to my dull mind and spirit? What mid term grade would I have received from him?

56. I still wonder why it is that I hesitate, even delay a day or two, to tell Loretta bad news like thievery and big bills, or missing money, but she feels compelled to tell me frequently about mold, roaches, and every knife she loses as well as every other little fault of our house.

57. I still wonder why I don’t have credibility; why people ask me how I know what I say and where I heard it; and why what I say is not very convincing to many. (Also in Burdens)

58. Why does Jesus say in one chapter that we should let our lights shine so people will see our good deeds (Mt 5:16) and in the next chapter (6:1) say we should not do our good deeds to be seen by men? May some in Belize think we are nearly irrelevant and dispensable because we of Amish background hide our good deeds so well that they have little idea how much we are doing?

59. I still wonder when we will ever move back to the States and retire. See Appendix D

60. I still wonder how nationals can be made to feel comfortable with missionaries when we are so much more educated and experienced then they are.

61. I wonder how many of our Belizean children will grow up as Christians and be faithful in the church and have beautiful families and good jobs.

62. I wonder if God may just work through our prayers what we just can’t seem to get a handle on, like leading persons into the kingdom.

63. I still wonder what the limits are of our marriage to meet each other’s needs.

64. Like Billy Graham said on a TV interview, I also wonder if I will ever hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

65. Why it seems to us that the needs of persons around us seem so obviously desperate to us but others can know about them and be totally unmoved to any action and practically ignore them; e.g. the delay in establishing a home for youth.

66. The Creation: How many years B.C. was Genesis 1:1? Is the Biblical record literal, poetic, or didactic? Were the 6 days literal, or a story telling scheme of the oral tradition? Did it matter to the Hebrews?

66a. If we are made in the image of God, and have a sense of humor, God must also have a sense of humor. But what would God find most amusing? Us, his children?

67. In spite of the statement of the founding fathers that all men are created equal, I wonder if that is really the case by races. Of course it is politically incorrect to even ask the question. Most African groups, perhaps almost all, have not broadly developed the arts, science, education, literature, theology, and political structures that work most of the time, and that mark most European groups. (Probably honesty, truthfulness, forgiveness, generosity and fidelity are less common for Africans than Americans in general.) I wonder, were all actually “created equal” but some cultures and races not affected by Christianity as much? Aren’t slavery and colonialism just excuses for lack of maturity like western societies and with the weakness of family structure? Is black sensuousness genetic (racial) or moral? Are we really all equal? I still wonder after many years among blacks in Belize

68. How do you convince young women to stop having new babies when they already have 3-5 and struggle daily in begging something for them to eat? Is it right to send away such a mother with a new born who comes to your door when you have warned them various times before?

69. I still wonder whether she and I should try to resolve our seemingly irreconcilable difference on the liquidation of our assets in ministry, or whether I should just manage the way I am convinced we should do it; and whether we should consider not supporting families with small children in this matter before we find alternative support for them.

70. I wonder if many of the above issues will be resolved in our life time, or if I will just keep on wondering. Most will not be worth asking God about when I will have a chance, I am sure.

                                                                                                                          Finished in Belize