THE PROVERBS OF NOAH

                                                     Solomon spoke three thousand proverbs (I Kings 4:32)

                                                     But Noah had only sixty-three- well sixty four.

                                         Mostly from matters learned in Belize

1. It is better to be old and be considered irrelevant

Than to speak up and confirm all prejudice.

2. When buying tools when you are young, buy Makita;

When buying in middle age, buy Craftsman;

When buying after 60 or when living in a third world country, buy Harbor Freight.

After twenty years in Belize, buy only what you must to survive.

3. As long as you beg for food, you will be poor;

But when you work, you will have plenty

4. It is not right that old men should work hard

To support young men who will not work.

5. It is better to feed a hungry child

Then support a lazy mother.

6. He who waits for bread from abroad

Will often find himself hungering.

7. To forget when you are middle-aged is normality;

But to forget when you are older is abnormality.

8. It is better to be understanding than to understand.

And to be misunderstood than to be misbelieved.

9. True friendships lasts forever,

But friendship based on gifts is but for a season.

10. The Kingdom of God is a party

With many children and a lot of food

11. To perceive the motives of another is clever,

To know what to do with that knowledge is wisdom.

12. “Wait” is what broke the wagon down

From Teacher Norman Kaufman

13. You always have two choices From N.K.

14. Love is lonely when alone; and so God made Man.

Man was also lonely, and so God made woman.

Woman was lonely and so they had children.

15. Be gentle and patient with children and youth

For it takes eighteen years to make a man.

16. A wife in your bed

Is worth two in your head.

17. God who provides shelter from the rain

Provides shelter for a future rainy day.

18. Life is not a free lunch;

So the lazy go hungry.

19. Life is not a free lunch;

Only the lazy think so.

20. He who depends on others for food

Often finds his belly begging bread.

21. He who thinks he knows it all is disdained;

If he does not know everything he is humiliated.

22. It takes much noise to fill an empty head;

But a thoughtful person loves quietness.

23. To be politically correct is expedient;

But to be correct may not be politically expedient.

24. He who does not learn patience in his youth

Will have ample occasion to learn it later.

25. All men forget, get tired, weary, and lose things;

But if you are aged, that is blamed for everything.

26. If a young man forgets, he is scatter-brained;

If a middle-aged man forgets, he is normal;

But if an older person forgets, it because of his age.

27. He who steals from him that feeds him,

Becomes an enemy to him who cares.

28. If you live like a rich man you will be poor;

But if you live like a poor man you will be rich.

29. A poor man who demands more and more,

Will likely love the giver less and less

30. Those who have always been poor

Will never know the limits of the “rich”.

31. The child who is not loved by somebody

Has little reason to obey anybody.

32. He who is trusted most among your friends

Will cause grave hurt when he betrays you.

33. He who is loved too little when he is younger,

May still learn to love greatly when he is older;

And be adoringly appreciated by many.

34. There is enough on earth for all men’s need,

But never enough for all men’s greed.

                                   From Pastor Mike Evans

35. He who is frequently driven to seek shelter in a dog house

Becomes wary of the master who drives him there.

36. A wise man uses his lips to seal his mouth;

But a fool rolls back his lips to show his anger.

37. He who ignores his elders when he is young,

Can expect to be ignored when he is old.

38. He who is willfully deaf when he is young,

May unwillingly be deaf when he is old.

39. It is better too have many children than to have none

40. The perfectionist is never satisfied,

But the humble is at peace with life.

41. The humble make a feast of anything,

But the perfectionist is rarely full.

42. The missionary who is rejected goes home sadly;

But the one who is ignored labors under a burden.

43. He who lives above his means will always feel poor;

But he who lives below will always have plenty to share.

44. He who can sing will sing;

He who can’t, chants or raps.

45. As diamond are used to grind diamonds,

So strength of character is built by hardships of life.

                                                           CHAPTER 2

1. When you age, you become more confident as you become less competent;

Until you really aged and you are very incompetent and still confident.

2. The middle aged ignore the counsel of their elders

      So they can make the same mistakes their elders did

Because they also did not listen to their elders.

3. The way to a man’s heart may be through his stomach,

But the way to a woman’s heart is a maze-ing.

[It is much easier to please a man than a woman.]

4. Self praise stinks! (Mother Eliza)

5. He who feels hurts when he gives to his neighbor

Is either to stingy or too generous.

6. The wife who asks advice and then scorns it

Plays a trick on her husband that insults him.

7. Of the Christian life my father said, “Consistency, Thou art a Jewel.”

Of daily helping the poor, the son says, “Consistency, Thou art Cruel.”

8. Criticism is like polishing a rough personality

But if it never stops it becomes salt on a wound.

9. The perfectionist and the pessimist are never happy,

But the man of faith moves forward with contentment and joy.

10. Incessant criticism calluses the soul

Until it has little feeling for the critic.

11. A porcupine and a fuzzy rabbit make an odd couple.

12. Advice is;

What you ask when already know the answer;

What you ask when you know what you should do and don’t want to;

What you ask even though you have decided already;

What you ask even though you don’t want an answer now;

When you ask and you know you will not follow the answer.

So why do people ask for advice? Please advise me!

13. A woman sees a store as a museum where you can buy something if you wish;

A man sees a store as a place to buy something and look around if he wishes.

14. An American always saves a little money for emergencies;

But a Belizean spends the last cent so it is useful.

15. A jailbird that flies from coup to coup

Has little apprehension of his next arrest.

16. When you are young, you worry what people think;

When you are middle-aged, you don’t care what they think;

When you are old, you know that no one was thinking at all.

                                                                         ( source unknown)

17. The critic and the perfectionist are never satisfied;

And the pessimist is mother to both.

18. Those who have least will least appreciate what they have;

But those who have most value most what they have.

19. When you are young, all you can think about is sex;

But when you are old, all you can do is think about sex.

                                                   (not original)