The Decade of My Twenties
If the first twenty years were years of
laying the foundation for my life, then my twenties were a
beginning of reaching out to what my life was to be from then on. A
time for marriage, children, education, service, and developing our
home, and preparation for a life of service.
Loretta and I were married on December
22, 1957, in the afternoon of that winter day. We attended church
services in the morning and likely had dinner at the church place,
but that is vague for me, as well as what or where I was before the
wedding service. We had the whole thing in the gym of Clinton
Christian Day school which we both had attended. It was a wedding
service like most church services of singing and preaching. I just
remember one song that was sung, “So Nimm Den Mine Hande- So Take
Thou My Hand”. My father preached and I suppose Loretta's father
had the opening devotional of the service.
We wanted to record the service but
that likely was never done before, so we had to do it secretly. A
mike was placed high up behind the basketball board, which was
directly above the speaker, and a cable led away to the room next to
the gym. It was operated by Loretta's cousin, who, regretfully did
not record the music but only the sermon. As far as I know we still
have that recording on a seven inch reel as was common before
cassettes although it is not totally clear because of the position of
the mike.
After we were married, minus the kiss
which wasn't yet in vogue in our church, servers carried around a
light supper of chicken and noodles, salad, chips, and ice cream bars
and cake. We and the wedding party sat at a straight table in front
of the audience with cake, etc.. Flanking us were Loretta's Aunt
Edna and Henry and on the other side, my brother Daniel and his new
girl friend which I take credit of bringing them together at that
point. After lunch, we rose to unwrap the gifts where we both
unwrapped them and I held them up to show everyone and announce who
had given them and thanked them . It is surprising how vague the
details of that day were, compared how much I remember of my younger
years. I doubt I was in a daze, but it somehow just flowed easily as
it was a rather simple wedding with out many frills. Loretta does
recall that she was still wearing her church shoes before the
ceremony and had to send someone after her wedding shoes.
And as for
the kiss, after the service she and I were walking in the other
school building, in the hall with hardly anyone around. I thought it
was time for THE KISS, but she was so shy, about it, I can't remember
if it actually really happened, or was it just a one-way kiss?
Anyway, we were married, weren't we, with or without that ritual?
In the evening we were at my house for
a youth fellowship and singing. I remember someone asked some
question about us getting married, whether it seems different or
something. I didn't feel much different. It just seemed fine when I
thought about it. Otherwise, that was an ordinary evening for us and
I went home with her and did not have to leave again. We had no
honeymoon as no one did in those days in our group. We relaxed there
about a week, and preparing for the next segments of our life- Bible
school in Berlin, Ohio and then to Red Lake, Ontario.
It was a 6 week Bible School for youth,
whether or not any had been to high school. We sat daily in classes
and enjoyed it. We stayed at a home in the community and commuted
daily. Marriage seemed so natural and good. We enjoyed being together
everyday and living together. But one day we had our first
disagreement. We were in the church building of the school and she
was upstairs in the library and I at the bottom. She wanted me to
come up and look around with her, but I didn't want to as I had
wandered up there before. Why should I go up those stairs again? She
just wanted me to be with her there. I suppose I gave in reluctantly,
but it now seems foolish that I made an issue of it and hesitated to
come up at least to please her.
When we came home from Bible school we
prepared to go to Red Lake, Ontario for a two year term of service.
The churches which were interested in missions had started this only
several years before as an out reach to Indians in Canada. My sister
and family were there so it was easy to fit into the unit of workers
there. I believe there were about 8 adults in the mission unit. It
was a long trip to Canada, about 1,200 miles. I don't remember if we
drove straight through or stopped for the night, but I do remember
that Loretta was so sleepy part of the way that I was not too happy
that we could not talk much.
At Red Lake Indian School, we settled in
in the upstairs- really a long, steep stair up from the main floor
where we had one of two rooms. Our kitchen was in the basement as
well as the bathroom down two flights of stairs. It wasn't too bad
except when she was down there cooking both for school lunches and
for several staff persons. Sometimes I was way up there just
relaxing when she was cleaning up downstairs. I know she missed me
sometimes and wished I was down there to help her.
My work was in maintenance of the
school, like janitor work and driving the school bus. Loretta helped
in the kitchen and we both taught Sunday School classes. There were
two classrooms and two teachers. It was a cold climate with winter
seeming to last most of the year and only a few months between
frosts. Once we went swimming in the lake and wore sweaters both
before going into the water and when coming out. In the winter,
temperatures went down as low as -40 degrees. I remember when it
finally went above zero that winter, it seemed like spring was
breaking. It had been below zero degrees for over a hundred days. But
we adjusted to the weather with coats, boots and lined gloves, just a
bit more than in the States.
We did many things besides work with
the school and church. Once our group dismantled a dormitory that had
housed a crew of workers who were building a dam about 40 miles south
of Red Lake. We hauled the lumber home and built homes for Indian
families. Another winter, we had a contract with a gold mine to bring
in a hundred cords of wood. This was to provide labor for Indian men
although for only a few. We used a truck belonging to a Jack Dunn in
town to haul the wood. It was an old truck and we learned to unjam
the transmission even if we were out in the woods in the cold. Once
it was -30 degrees when we were cutting wood and we built a small
fire, but it was too cold to sit down to eat. So we stood around and
ate our nearly frozen pork and beans and sandwiches! It was not too
bad as long as we were working, but to hold still, you were soon very
cold.
In the spring and summer we cleared land some for garden. The
trees were small, only 4-6 inches in diameter. We would set dynamite
under several trees and then light them and step back, counting the
firing so we knew when they were all exploded. Then we would chop
around the trees so they fell and we could more easily dig out the
roots. We also dug a trench down to the lake, probably for 300 feet,
perhaps 3 feet deep so the pipe would not freeze. The school building
was built above granite rock so wells were impossible without
drilling, which was eventually done.
After Loretta was pregnant with Paul,
we moved down hill to a small house about 200 feet from the lake.
Along the lake were high rocks which provided a beautiful sight over
the lake. Sometimes we were there for a picnic in the summer. The
lake was a common means of transportation for some. We went out on a
canoe several times, once with our infant son and later when we went
out we tipped the canoe, not realizing how easily that could happen
with inexperienced canoeists. We did not fish much although others of
our group did some. Many tourists came there to fish in this north
country. We needed a translator for our church services and he lived
across the lake. At least a few times I went after him with a boat we
had. In the winter, we would drive across the ice on the lake with a
car. Or around the lake by road. Once we drove quite a few miles out
over the lake after the snow wasn't too deep any more, and we were
later asked it if we went at a certain place where it wasn't always
frozen. We weren't sure if that was where we had been.
Once we heard that a tractor broke down through the ice.
The summers, however short, were a time
you could just enjoy a lot of work and recreation. Once an Indian
guide took us to a place outside Red Lake to a river where fish were
going upstream to spawn. We went down there and sitting on rocks in
the river, we reached down and caught fish with our bare hands and
threw the out on the bank. We carried them through the forest in tubs
and baskets and took them home and flayed them. They were not fancy
fish but they were free for the sport of catching them. In Indian
style, we used the waste of the fish for fertilizer under potatoes
we planted.
Paul was born there in the early winter
about 3 weeks before we expected him. She told me in the evening that
this would be the night. I went to sleep and she stayed up. About
2:30 am, we went to the hospital on snow covered roads in that old
1950 Ford car. I was with her the whole time. When it was time to go
from the holding room to the delivery room, about 5:00 am, the tall
nurse looked at her and said, “I believe I can carry her over.”
She picked her up and carried her over but remarked that she seemed
heavier then expected. The birth was probably unremarkable as births
go, but I didn't know what to expect. I was supportive at her head
and barely saw the baby until he was there. I can't remember our
exact feelings at that moment. I guess we were so young we didn't
know what to think. Yet we were happy and elated to have this son. I
remember that morning sitting at home and eating
breakfast alone, meditating over the
fact that I now had a responsibility to raise that son properly.
When Paul was born, I was quick to call
the new grandparents of his arrival. Three weeks later Paul had a new
uncle, Linford, a new brother for Loretta. But his parents only
informed us by letter, Guess babies were not a new thing for them!
We had many interesting cultural
experiences with the Indians.[Nobody thought of calling them Native
Americans in those days.] There was the Chief who was kind of a
patriarch and I suppose some influence of the group. He was leader of
their ceremonies, especially the pow wow. They would sit around a
circle and beat their drums and sing in ways I couldn't imitate if I
tried. We could hear then from our house and sometimes went closer to
hear and see them. Once I tried to record them and one of them
rebuked me because he said that was their worship service. I really
never knew if they thought of it that way. They had a word for God
which meant, Great Spirit. They also knew of an evil Spirit. On the
lighter side, we always thought it was strange that when the chief
and his wife walked past our house on the way to town, he would walk
about 12-15 feet ahead of her.
The Indians had their own language and
most spoke little English unless they had been away from their
settlements up north and among English people. The language seemed
as different from ours as Hebrew seemed later for me. I learned at
least some dozens of words but few sentences. They called me
something like Musgawasia, meaning long legged bird and Loretta was
Noahwewon, or Noah's wife. Harvey was studying Ojibwa, that language,
for a while. We wanted to teach them English so they could get along
in society and the youth were better at that. Some of the Indian
church members were able to communicate fairly well with us. One
young woman was constantly telling her little active girl, “Gego,
Mona” for Don't Mona. The Kesicks had worked at the forestry and
were more assimilated. Leo, one teen, had a stereo and loved Elvis
Presley music when Presley was fairly young. Several from that
family came into the church and the Elvis fan later married a girl
from Pennsylvania.
We enjoyed our life in Red Lake and
could have made it a permanent place of service. However I longed
to return to attend college so we terminated as planned. One thing I
yet want to mention that after about 15 months there, we returned to
Indiana for a short time to attend the weddings of my sister Esther
and Loretta's Aunt Edna Mae.. We traveled in the long van we used as
a school bus. Paul was only 4 months old then and that was his first
visit to the States and to our family. At the Canadian border, the
attendant officer was shining his light all around the van to see who
all was there. When he came onto Loretta he asked, “And who is this
little girl?” We had to tell him who Paul was.
We came back from Red Lake in February,
1960 and moved to Loretta's home place. I got a job in a factory
which was easy in those days, first at Schultz Mobile Homes on Route
20 and then to Windsor in Bristol. If we did not especially like one
job, or they paid more at another, we changed jobs just like that.
Wages at that time were about 2.00 per hour, But then you could also
buy meat like chicken and hamburger for under 30 cent a pound. We
rented the house from her parents for $25.00 per month and bought gas
and milk off the farm for 26 and 50 cents per gallon respectively.
Our first car was a 1954 Chevy which we bought for $600. It was more
than 15 years until I spent more than $1,000 for a car.
In the fall of that year, I began my
college career at Goshen College. Not having finished high school, I
took the GED tests and was admitted on that basis. It seemed I could
usually keep up with most other students. Certainly during the years
I was out of school, I had read a lot in my spare time and so my mind
was not in neutral. I was 23 when I started to college. It seems a
bit odd that they asked me at the admissions office why I wanted to
go to college and just as unique what my response was: to learn how I
can share the Gospel better. They probably had few Amishmen seeking
admission and fewer yet with such a response! Because I had not saved
much for college, I took only an evening course the first semester-
Fine Arts, an Amish man studying, Bach, Rembrant and Beethoven? I
passed anyway. The next semester I enrolled full time. That same
month Conrad was born and now we had two boys. I commuted to college
and usually studied until about 6:00. I did not study much at home
except like required reading which did not require as much
concentration and I could be more open to the needs of the family and
spend time with the children when they would come to me or needed
attention..
At the end of my third year in college,
I was asked to teach at Clinton Christian Day School which I had
attended over a decade before. Three of us teachers taught grades
7-10. I taught English, science, health and Bible. The 7-8 grades
were quite a challenge with about 42 students in the two grades. The
high school classes were easier, smaller and more self disciplined.
In college I had started out in elementary education, then switched
to an English major in high school teaching, but then decided to get
that major without the teaching practical work. I studied Greek
language for two years as I hoped to attend seminary later and Greek
did not count for credit in seminary. While teaching I took several
correspondence courses to be ready for graduation in that year, 1965.
I was not too happy with the challenge of keeping order in the class
room as well as teaching which I thought was my job. Well, they did
not invite me to teach the following year. Oddly, I had four children
of the chairman of the school board in my classes so they were ready
informants of my first teaching experience. Just as well!
During my college years, Grace was born
the year after Conrad and a year-plus later Rachel was born. I remember Paul as a new born was so
quiet and patient he did not cry the first 3 weeks. Grace in contrast
demanded with crying that seemed to say, “Why didn't you take care
of me before now?” Rachel was a smaller baby- after Grace was so
big- 8lb. 10oz- and more calm and patient and could have been
slighted because she was not demanding any more than what you would
expect. I hope it was not because I was too busy with college that I
can't really remember how Conrad was as a baby. I do remember playing
a lot with the children and enjoying them. One time when I was fixing
a speaker high up on the outside of the house, Paul climbed way up
high on the ladder. Once Grace sat into the mop bucket and just sat
there laughing about it. Another time she ran through a door with a
broken window glass and cut her arm something big that took a lot of
stitches which I suppose still shows. She usually just pushed the
door open by the glass- which this time was not all there!
I can't explain exactly why, but for
two years after college graduation I worked in trailer factories
supporting the family instead of going on to seminary. I suppose
finances with our growing family while in college was a main factor,
and lack of boldness, frustrations of our church, little enthusiasm
from Loretta, I just didn't get started with my seminary studies
quickly.
In 1965, we also moved to north Goshen,
buying our first home, on Middlebury Street. It was an old house for
just $5,000. It had a big back lot and we tried to garden the sandy
soil. I tore down the old garage and built a new one and also made
some changes in the back porch and built a study for myself. It was
still just an old house with a low basement and floors, especially
the bedroom that literally slanted down hill, perhaps 6 inches or
more. But there we would pray each night with our children, 4 by
then. I realized at one point that they spoke German better than
English, so I started praying in German. Oddly, our ordinary talk was
German, but our religious talk, and praying, and reading was
English. But I wanted our children to know what I prayed so I prayed
in German.
During those two years, we were more
and more frustrated with Woodlawn church which seemed so ingrown and
with church services so unchallenging. In 1965, they choose a new
leader, by lot. Seven men were in the lot, and I was not among them.
I felt some call to preach. In fact when the ministers were
preaching, sometimes I would make outlines on what I would want to
preach if I had the chance. The ministers just preached stuff every
one had learned a long time ago, so I thought. Possibly sitting in
college classes day after day and hearing new stuff all the time,
made it all the more obvious to me that I was not being challenge in
any way by their preaching except to learn patience and endurance!
Finally, I told Loretta not to make me go back anymore.
Someone told us about Walnut Hill
Chapel in north Goshen which was actually only a few blocks from our
home. We went there once, possibly in February of 1967, and then
kept going there after that. We became members in the fall just as
college was starting. It was a very good move for me and the family.
I felt as if I was finally coming back home into a church where I had
really belonged. There were various families there about my age and
also college students or graduates. They were very accepting and
affirming. The preaching was not totally inspiring but it was at
least different and it was not a minister controlled church like
Woodlawn had seemed. We had excellent fellowship with the members
there.
That same fall we joined Walnut hill, I
started going to seminary. I had been thinking for some months before
about enrolling. But Loretta was not much interested in becoming a
minister's wife, so I put it off until the last weeks to enroll. When
I told Loretta that I had enrolled, she acted a bit surprised.
Anyway, I went on and thoroughly enjoyed my studies. One year I
worked part time and went to classes part time, working in Elkhart
not far from where we later lived. There we made truck campers and I
worked on metal on the sides of the campers. At that time the Goshen
seminary had a joint program with the Elkhart, General Conference,
campus. And so I traveled to both places different days of the week.
Before I graduated, both campuses were together in Elkhart. At the
church the last years another seminary student and I preached some,
partly as a part of our seminary training and testing for ministry.
So I graduated in 1970 with a Masters of Divinity degree, the typical
degrees for various ministries. When I was first in seminary, I
considered three possible options for ministry: Pastoral, missionary,
or social work of some kind.
Julie was born while we attended Walnut
Hill Church. As we imagined her to be be the last one, I tried to
remember everything about her pre-born months as well as early
childhood. I remember one night in the latter stages, Loretta just
could not sleep because the baby was pushing up against her
diaphragm, I suppose, and making her very
miserable. So I laid my hands on the big bulge and prayed for her-
them! And then I waited a bit. Loretta responded very soon, “It
doesn't hurt anymore.” Sometime during those months we gathered
the children around [like for a recorded news conference] and asked
them if they would like to have a new baby in our family. They were
very excited about it when we told them one was coming. They were old
enough that they could understand and then were very happy when she
came.
It was 5 years since we had any babies so we were all ready and
really pleased with the new one. When she could walk, she would get up early
sometimes and come out to my study where I sat reading before others
were up and sat there on my lap. But once when she was sitting on my lap there, she
innocently stuck a pencil in my ear and I fainted and had to pick
myself up from the floor. I don't remember what happened to her just
then, but I was not out more than a moment.
About that time before the end of the
decade, Paul was the first of our children to get a paper route.
Conrad liked to help him and they had to do the collecting together.
I believe they eventually divided the route, although later kids that
age couldn't do it that young. We also had guinea pigs in a pen in
the yard and at one time two Dutch rabbits, which were a bit smaller
than regular rabbits and black and white, very beautiful.
It was the time of the Viet Nam war and
many Americans were hard against it. With another seminary student we
walked around the upper class areas in Elkhart asking people what
they think about the war to raise awareness. With others we also
stood on the court house lawn in Goshen in protest of the war which
killed thousands of Asians and over 50,000 Americans. The hippy
culture with drugs was in vogue where moral standards were lowering
and they had a slogan, “:Make Love, not War.” Because Nixon
claimed to have a plan to end the war, I voted for him in 1968. Later
I wrote letters to our representative and the president urging an end
to the war and received back form letters acknowledging my writing.
Nixon sent a long, perhaps 30 page justification of the war.
At our time at Walnut Hill, our
children went largely from speaking German to English. Loretta has
recalled that when Grace was in kindergarten, she noticed that Grace
began to talk to Rachel in English. Julie was born in 1968, and so
never went to Woodlawn and never learned more than a few words in
German. None of the children learned to speak above the pre-school
level in German except possibly Paul. It is likely that Julie first
spoke in German but soon we talked more English than German.
